the Doug's thoughts and ramblings

Through the fence

2011-05-14T09:54:00.001-06:00

Ever feel like you don't know? We're in a season right now of transition. The time at which some of these changes will happen feel very imminent. I've noticed that when you start to feel the stress and the pressure (and make no mistake - we feel it), you become somewhat fixated on it all. It feels as if the one pressing question eclipses all the other answers you have in life.

So I feel like I don't know much of anything. Which is not all that true, it's just I feel that way. I wish I knew more about what God was doing. As I wrote to someone in an email the other day, I catch glimpses of God behind the stuff I see, moving about, but there's so much in the way I can't tell what's he doing or where he's going.

It's like watching a neighbour through a wooden slat fence. You see slivers of a person moving here and there, but you can't tell what they're doing or working on.

So ya, He's there. And that's good (in the very best and largest sense of that word). In many ways we're in a better place in this transition then we have been in the other ones in our life. But .....

So God is there. And while I still feel like there's lots I don't know. I working at choosing to trust.

The one thing I keep 'hearing' from God, or perhaps the better way of expressing it is, the one thing that I keep going back to in my thoughts, is:

I'm forgiven.

Which is a good thing to reflect on, if you're needing something to reflect on...

Trusting. Forgiven. Waiting.

Us May 2011

2011-05-10T19:03:00.002-06:00

We went and played at Sandy Beach today. I took some photos. It was fun.

"Mark dilemma"

2011-04-08T10:34:00.000-06:00

I think I solved my "Mark" dilemma. If you click that link, you will see a Facebook status update I wrote lamenting the problem. Which is, 11 Sundays to fit ten chapters into, oh and we have special Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday services in those 11 weeks too. Some suggestions were given and at least one person wanted to hear how I resolved to approach the dilemma, thus this post.

Backstory:

This year I wanted to preach through the gospel of Mark. For some reason I don't often look to Mark when I'm studying the gospels. So, to learn more I decided to preach through the book. I had preached from Mark 1 through Mark 6:44. Then as I sat down to sort out how to break down the rest of the book with the number of Sundays that I have remaining as pastor of Timbers Community Church (blogged about here), I realized that at the pace we were moving it wasn't going to come together the way I wanted.

So here's what I'm planning on doing with the rest of the sermon series. Date, Passage and then the subtitles that may (or not) be in your Bible.

April 10 - Mark 7:1-23 Jesus teaches about Inner Purity
April 17 - Palm Sunday service
April 24 - Easter Sunday
May 1 - Mark 8:11-21 Pharisees demand a miracle and the yeast of the Pharisees and Herod
May 8 - (Mothers Day) Mark 8: 27-38 Peter's declaration about Jesus, Jesus predicts his death
May 15 - Mark 9:2-13 Transfiguration
May 22 - (Victoria Day weekend) - Mark 9:33-50 Greatest in the kingdom, using the name of Jesus
May 29 - Mark 10:35-45 Serving Others
June 5 - Mark 12:1-12 Parable of the Evil Farmers
June 12 - Mark 13:1-37 Jesus foretells the future
June 19 - (Fathers Day) Mark 14:12 ->> Last Supper and onwards

Some thoughts, I will draw from the Mark accounts for my portions of the Easter services, and while it will not be a part of the series, we will as a community look at the accounts, even if it is out of order a bit.

I have felt like some of the portions of Mark that I have outlined above are what 'we' need to look at. I dislike that we have to skip parts. I should have planned the front end of the series a little better.

I think there are some really excellent things we can learn from these scenes in the book of Mark and I look forward to working through them with our church.

2011-03-05T00:20:00.001-06:00

I have lots in my head these days, but every time I try to articulate it and it doesn't work. As Tara blogged about a little while ago we are in transition. I will finish as pastor of Timbers Community Church no later then the end of June. This was not a surprise to us. I was in discussion about what was going on with our church all the way through. In fact, we were struggling with the idea of taking a salary when our church hasn't generated enough revenue to support it. There would've been time and space to continue for a period of time, but it seemed unwise. So changes are coming to both our Timbers family and our immediate family.

What and where? Don't know. We'll see. I have learned a lot in the short time we've been here. We have truly enjoyed it here. And we wait to see what God has in store for us next. Wherever that may be.

In other news, I got a suitcase full of cameras the other day. How much fun is that?

Maybe you need to read this too.

2011-01-18T12:59:00.000-06:00

I get a daily email from the Henri Nouwen society thing. I don't always get around to reading them. Today's however was something that brought perspective.

Finding Solitude

All human beings are alone. No other person will completely feel like we do, think like we do, act like we do. Each of us is unique, and our aloneness is the other side of our uniqueness. The question is whether we let our aloneness become loneliness or whether we allow it to lead us into solitude. Loneliness is painful; solitude is peaceful. Loneliness makes us cling to others in desperation; solitude allows us to respect others in their uniqueness and create community.

Letting our aloneness grow into solitude and not into loneliness is a lifelong struggle. It requires conscious choices about whom to be with, what to study, how to pray, and when to ask for counsel. But wise choices will help us to find the solitude where our hearts can grow in love.

Here's the photo that this prompted me to remember.

January

2011-01-14T11:09:00.002-06:00

Not sure what to tell you all about but I thought I would let you know that I am trying to post photos regularly to Flickr.

Here is what is there now:

on resolutions

2011-01-02T00:36:00.000-06:00

This thing about resolutions and goals and stuff is interesting to me.

I think we just want to get better at life. And we are, slowly, and I think the desire for goals, or words, or resolutions or whatever is in part our impatience at how slowly we are changing. There are parts we'd like to change much more quickly.

As for me?

I hope to continue growing, learning and figuring stuff out.

No benchmarks or anything - I just hope to try these things:

One thing is I want to read more. Especially the book (or another version) pictured above.

I want to write more.

I want to post more pictures to the world to see via the interwebs.

Or not. We'll see.

Hallelujah Chorus

2010-11-18T13:08:00.000-06:00

There is something powerful in this little video. At least to me. To me there is something about the Hallelujah chorus that cuts through the secular stuff around Christmas. It goes straight to the heart of the matter for Christians. For the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth forever.

The lyrics for George Frideric Handel's Hallelujah Chorus, from the Oratorio Messiah are at the end of this post.

As you may have noticed, Christians don't always agree. We disagree about doctrine and practice. Which may be a short sentence, but encompasses a remarkable number of things. Hopefully, though, while we may question many things, what this Chorus sings about is something I hope we can agree on.

I used to wonder what the big deal about this musical piece was all about. Same thing every year. Except that now, what it declares moves my spirit. Makes want to sing in agreement, in worship to the God that I love and for what he has done for me.

So ya, your mileage may vary, but for me this little video was an excellent reminder that Christmas is coming. And that is something to be happy about.

If you're looking for a link with the piece played by some folks in a more traditional way,
Hallelujah Chorus Performed by The English Concert & Choir on youtube, but no video.
____________________________________________________

|: Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! :|

|: For the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! :|

For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth.

|: Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! :|

The kingdom of this world

Is become the kingdom of our Lord,

And of His Christ, and of His Christ;

And He shall reign for ever and ever,

For ever and ever, forever and ever,

King of kings, and Lord of lords,

|: King of kings, and Lord of lords, :|

And Lord of lords,

And He shall reign,

And He shall reign forever and ever,

King of kings, forever and ever,

And Lord of lords,

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

And He shall reign forever and ever,

|: King of kings! and Lord of lords! :|

And He shall reign forever and ever,

King of kings! and Lord of lords!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

video game engagement

2010-11-11T16:32:00.000-06:00

Me playing Operation 7
(and doing quite well actually)
earlier this year

I like video games. Currently the games I'm playing most are Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook and a shooter game called Operation 7. Wahoo! I've spent countless hours of my life in video games. Most of the time I prefer it to television.

Okay, so what? Well, I know I'm not alone, I read an article last month that said that people spend 927 million hours a MONTH on Facebook games. Ya, that was staggering, even to me. Activision's newest game Call of Duty: Black Ops sold 5.6 million copies in the first 24 hour period, about $360 million dollars US worth. Note that Black Ops is a game rated M and is for adult gamers. That's some serious numbers about games.

Now some would argue that all this gaming is not a good sign. I was challenged today listening to a TED video: Tom Chatfield: 7 ways games reward the brain. He cited the intense passion that many people have towards video games and noted 7 things that contribute to our collective obsession with them. Essentially he was asking how does video games elicit such a strong engagement of it's players?

So my big question is this:

Can we as a church learn something about how to get people engaged in growing as a Christian in a way that is similar, or at least informed by how games engage people?

Without trying to explain everything he spoke about, here's the seven points:

1. experience bars measuring progress

2. multiple long and short-term aims
3. rewards for effort (every effort no matter how small)

Me playing Runescape August 29, 2006

4. rapid, frequent, clear feedback
5. an element of uncertainty
6. windows of enhanced attention
7. other people

Gamers will often do repetitive and boring tasks over and over again in a game. How does the game get people to do boring virtual things over and over again? How does a game get dozens of people to spend a month building a virtual ship? It appears (I've never played this game) that in EVE Online the Titan class of Capital ship takes that kind of work.

Can I as a pastor learn from any of this? I was listening to another TED video: R.A. Mashelkar: Breakthrough designs for ultra-low-cost products, he gave this quote:

When you wish to achieve results that have not been achieved before, it is an unwise fancy to think that they can be achieved by using methods that have been used before.

-Sir Francis Bacon

So how do I engage people? Are there things that we can do that will engage people more effectively in Christian devotion? Or are video games and the spiritual disciplines too disimiliar for there to be any crossover? What can I do differently in a church that would engage people in a way that is more encompassing?

What do you say?

Man up.

2010-10-30T21:22:00.000-06:00

I realize that the title of this post is somewhat ironic. Ironic in that I expect that most of my readers are female. Of the 12 "followers" on my blog (followers as defined by google that is) 10 are women. I do not begrudge that, they likely know me in offline life or they are aware of my wonderful wife's blog.

Speaking of Tara's blog, this week she was at Blissdom Canada. Don't misread me here, I'm SO glad she went. We've missed her terribly, but I think it's has been good for her to be away for a bit. Especially getting to meet Shannon, but also in a place where she can talk blogging stuff with other women who are into this stuff as much (or maybe more!) then she is. I don't resent her being gone at all.

But I did catch myself feeling sorry for myself a little. There's a lot going on this week, even had Tara been home. There's been a number of costume kind of events at the school. Olivia's class had a costume parade, there was a family dance the other night, and then there was a costume fashion show. Owen won a prize for the best "look a like" costume at the dance. Aiden was amazing during the fashion show, and Olivia was just plain old cute! Cool stuff! So much fun! However, it's put a fair bit of pressure on me to get my 'normal' stuff done for the week.
Have you ever got to the place where there's things happening and you feel like you're entitled to something to compensate for all the 'stuff' you've had to deal with? Maybe you do deserve some recognition. But the part that I want to zero in on today is that feeling of entitlement. Who am I to say that I am entitled to something?

Proverbs 25:6,7a

⁶ Don’t demand an audience with the king

or push for a place among the great.

⁷ It’s better to wait for an invitation to the head table

than to be sent away in public disgrace.

I suppose if I'm honest with myself - most, if not all, of the thing things in my life that I find as a challenge are really quite mild. The world is amazing and nobody's happy, or so it often appears. When you start to feel like you are "owed" something - you're really just feeling sorry for yourself. If I'm just feeling sorry for myself because I did something that has drained me in some way, then why am I any different then the rest of the planet? Do I really want to be the guy with the edge of attitude every time I do something for someone?

I love that Proverb. Don't worry about recognition, because if it's deserved, it'll likely happen. Time and Truth go hand in hand. Eventually, given enough time, the truth will come out. If not in this life, then the next.

Feeling sorry for oneself doesn't get much else done. It doesn't help anyone, it doesn't even yourself feel better really. So Mr. Doug, Man Up and get over yourself and keep doing what you should.

Besides all that - Tara is home now. She's awesome. It's awesome to have her home and really that's all the recognition/reward/whatever I need. Maybe all we need is just a little more patience.

This week

2010-10-27T20:58:00.000-06:00

So this week I'm parenting on my own. Yesterday we (all of us) drove to Thunder Bay and stayed at the Victoria Inn. It was great, they upgraded our room without my even realizing it until we opened the door of the room! (Hence the link love) Great place to stay in our experience, although we've only been there twice.

The reason for our overnight stay in Thunder Bay was that today Tara was flying to Toronto for Blissdom Canada 2010. She jumped on her plane and flew off into the big blue yonder. She landed before we had made it halfway home. But due to the power of technology I found the following video on the computer when we did arrive home showing that Tara has in fact landed safely:

So Tara and Shannon are at Blissdom. It seems there's a play by play of photos over on Shannon's TwitPic page.

So far, so good. I hope all goes well in Toronto.

Oh, and just for fun...
Tara you missed Owen pulling that tooth out all by himself.

And it appears to be snowing.

I went to an autism seminar today

2010-08-24T16:16:00.000-06:00

So I went to an autism seminar today. As you may know, my eldest son has been diagnosed with something on the autism spectrum. What has he been diagnosed with you ask? Some call it P.D.D.N.O.S. (pervasive develop disorder not otherwise specified - helpful no?), others call it an autism spectrum disorder. I say he sees the world differently then me.
Nothing all that earth shattering as far as straight up learning goes, but our speaker guy had a great way of putting things in context for us. It's often good to be reminded of things you already know by someone you don't know. Good to hear things phrased a different way and in another context.

We continue the journey.

vacation 2010 part 1

2010-08-13T01:08:00.000-06:00

So we went on big trip this summer. Our biggest (this does not include the several months we lived out of our tent trailer, as that was just us in between jobs and places to live) to date. We drove from Dryden to White Rock with lots of stops in between.

We got to see family and some friends along the way and it made it quite nice. We drove in a car that was loaned to us by a nice gentleman in our church (thanks again Bill!!), we took advantage of his offer as it cost us some $30-40 to fill the tank in his car, and well, our 1996 GMC Safari has a much bigger tank, and doesn't get that much farther per tank. I digress.

A trip like that give you time to think, or just be, or gain some perspective. For me, it did a little bit of two of those and lots of the other. I got to "just be" most of the time. I think one of the best parts of the holidays for me was just being with my family with far less distractions. I enjoyed the extended times with the kids. We were all a little more comfortable, I think.

As for perspective, I think the biggest thing I've been *trying* to work on is my attitude towards the kids; especially when I'm distracted and frustrated. There's room for improvement, and as I reflected some on the type of person I want to model and become for my family - well, it was a good 'gut' check.

I am by no means done going through my photos, but here's a slideshow of a few images that I have gone through thus far, I will be adding to this gallery over the next little while (or long while as the case may be).

on me.

2010-07-27T11:04:00.000-06:00

So it was pointed out to me recently that I often post very incomplete thoughts and allude to having things to say and then never say them (such as here). So in an attempt to externalize some of the thoughts in my head, comes the following...

I want to be free.

Perhaps that sounds a little strange coming from me. But like many, I struggle with my own abilities, wondering I can do all that I am called to do, all that I am asked to, all that I want to do.

I received an email recently that alluded to a list of things said at a graduation attributed to this one guy. I generally check the validity of email forwards, not because I don't trust the people who send them to me, because, as a rule, the people who send me forwards have found something of value in them. However, email forwards often become tall tales quickly. The email looked very similar to this one that is set straight on Snopes.

The little tidbit that got me thinking the most was this quote, (the rest is in the above link):

The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself

The part of self esteem I struggle with is that I know that it's usually my own fear(s) that keep me back. I'm self-aware enough to know that "there is no secret ingredient", and that almost everyone struggles with self-esteem. Certainly some are less bothered, and others are crippled by it all. Yet it is quite frustrating to know that your own lack of confidence, which resides entirely in your own head, is holding you back. To know you are technically able to do something doesn't always seem to help when you feel the task is too important.

So what to do? Well, the first thing that comes to my mind is to remind myself that I am free in Christ. At first that sounds a little cheesy, even to me. Yet, if I believe the Scriptures (I do), then when I feel trapped by circumstances and that I can't get done what I honestly feel should be done; I need to remember that I am free. I am free to do what I need to.

¹It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. -Galatians 5:1 (NIV)

Today, I need to remember that I am free. That I live in a world created by God, that I was created by God, and he knows who and what I am, and he is the one who called me, to be a disciple, a husband, a father, a friend, a pastor and all the other things in my life.

One of the things I hope to work on within myself is letting go of the self-doubt and simply move forward in the things I feel called to do. We'll see how that goes.

The reason I'm including this photo, is that it was really something to see in person, and one felt a little like God's work is still good.

Vacation

2010-07-18T09:19:00.000-06:00

So I've been on vacation for the last few weeks. Still am actually. In my mind I had made all kinds of wonderful and witty posts about our misadventures. Never quite got them written out here though. So, use your imagination.

more ramblings then thought today...

2010-06-24T22:14:00.000-06:00

Today find me with some more random all over the place kind of thoughts, some of you may stop reading now...

a quiet place to sit and ramble on about the thoughts in my head.

on blogging:
I like the idea of blogging. I feel like I need to write more to help learn how to communicate better. Communicating better in writing should help me communicate verbally, especially in the teaching/preaching role I'm in. Yet I find the hardest thing is finding out how to jump in*. What thoughts should I share, what needs to stay locked up in my head so I don't get locked up for being crazy? What is provocative thought? What is ranting? What is soap-boxing? How does one create content that others will interact with? How do stay consistent in all of this?
*hence today's random post.

on time and life and stuff:
helped with a grade eight graduation last night. I'm still processing the funeral I officiated in Ottawa in May. I turned 36 at the end of May. Put the three together and I wonder how I have progressed from grade eight to now and where do I need to grow before I'm 97? What are the things that are personality traits and what are character weaknesses? Why is change so welcome in some areas of our lives and so difficult in others? What do we have control over and what do we not have control over?

on some of my Scripture study as of late:
I've been chewing on the book of Ephesians.
Chapter 3:16-17

¹⁶ I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. ¹⁷ Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. (NLT)

How much do I trust Jesus? What does that trust look like?

Was talking to one of the teachers the other night at the school. Her students have been given netbooks to study with. Most of her students don't see the potential of what kind of learning could happen with those machines. Nor do they see all that they could do with them. The class was to have made a presentation to play on the screen during their grad. It was clear that not a lot of effort was put into that presentation. I'm not trying to criticize, but to put it in perspective, it was black type on purple, which looked like an indigo kind of blue on the screen. Difficult to read, rather dull to look at. With even a modest amount of effort, that presentation could have been improved greatly.

Now, that might sound like I'm bashing here a bit, I think I do the same thing at times in my spiritual walk. I do the bare minimum to get by. I say to myself, that it was good enough for what I'm trying to do. Are the goals I have for myself high enough? How am I doing in pursuing those goals? What happens when I miss a goal?

I heard a line in a song a bit ago that said:

"It’s my habits that made my fingers weak, when my chances came I couldn’t grab them."

-from the song "Train Song" by Listener. (You can listen to the "Train Song" here, I recommend trying the "original" version, which is numbered 5)

on how different people see the world:

sometimes I feel double minded in that I see that positive thinking and exerting effort to focus on the good can help move our lives forward. Conversely, there are times where just pushing forward trying to focus on good things (I mean good in the largest most positive sense of the word) feels hollow, as if it's ignoring all the people and things that are so broken in this world.

Maybe the road less travelled weaves between feeling the pain of the brokenness of this world and feeling the joy and hope of the gospel and of redemption. Which is easier said than done. More than that, we avoid the richness of experience, because the difference between those lows and those highs feel like too much to bear. So we do our best to live in the middle.

on photos:

I am enjoying taking pictures. I've been taking lots of pictures. Where I've been struggling is editing them in a timely fashion. Part of that is the ongoing technical challenge of all these files and finding solutions to sort them all out. Mostly though, my default state of disorganization extends even to my computer files. Although I'm better than I used to be.

on who I create content for:

if you have ever blogged, written a note for facebook or posted a picture on the web to share with people, you likely know that it's fun to see how other people react to what you are saying, creating and putting out there.

You can end up spending a lot of time looking at the number of comments or page hits, or views or whatever and less time thinking about the content.

For the record... all of my photos and all of my on-line writing is for me. It is a cathartic process for me to share what's on my heart and head and to get it beyond just my thoughts, and my journal. But I'm human. I think we all like to see people comment on things. I confess to be frustrated about the whole blogging thing because of a lack of response. I also realize that infrequent posting and long posts (like this one) make following along harder.

Family Photo Progression.

2010-06-21T10:19:00.000-06:00

We tried to take a family photo yesterday. Here's how it panned out. You should be able to click on it large to see the expressions in each photo.

Love these guys!

On waiting

2010-05-30T13:53:00.000-06:00

Sometimes things don't work out the way you expect. Things don't really take off the way you had expected. Problems come up. Parts break, you get distracted, you make a little tiny mistake at the wrong time, the weather makes issues, people can't get there because life happens, we forget stuff. And so, something doesn't happen the way you hope. There are times to give up, realize that the cost is not worth it. Other times though, you just need to keep going. Because, when you're learning to fly, there are bumps and bruises along the way, but chances are... once you're gliding in the clouds.... you'll forget the little bumps.

Dream.

Pray.

Love.

Live.

Or not.

I keep dreaming of the clouds though.

this week

2010-05-16T13:19:00.002-06:00

A quick view at the email I got from the weather network this morning telling me what the weather will be like. I'll (just me, family staying home) be heading to Ottawa for the greater part of the week... hope it's nice there too. Let summer come....

Owen's larger world

2010-05-13T15:37:00.000-06:00

Owen's riding a two wheeler.

He rocks.

sometimes you just need to start

2010-05-04T18:00:00.000-06:00

So I haven't blogged as much as I would have liked. I found this little tidbit from Henri Nouwen the other day, and it along with some other things he wrote prompted me to begin again on the blogging thing.

Life is sometimes overwhelming. I have found that I have a frustrating tendency towards laziness when I get overwhelmed. Underachiever might be a way to describe it. There comes a long list of things that need to be done and I decide I should then do nothing. Then wait for the pressure of deadlines and other people's strained expectations to move. This trait of mine, is frustrating to me. I can only begin to imagine what it's like for those around me, waiting for me.

This, as you would know if you are acquainted with me, is not new. There are times where I do better than others. Recently, I read again Psalm 2. It reminded me of the aspect of life that is like a battle. Not as in me against you, but as in spiritual battle.

There are areas of our lives we know need to be worked on. There are things we know we need to start doing. There are things we know we need to stop doing. These are the kind of things that we don't need a sermon, or lightning bolts to show us. No one else may know about them, but God does.

Me? I need to work on being disciplined. In moving towards the things I have as goals and dreams. It's hard to steer a vehicle that isn't moving. So I need to keep moving. I may not have the energy of a three year old wanting to dance (see below - isn't she cute?) but I can keep moving.

A reminder that I need to blog some...

2010-05-04T12:26:00.003-06:00

From Henri Nouwen:

Writing to Save the Day

Writing can be a true spiritual discipline. Writing can help us to concentrate, to get in touch with the deeper stirrings of our hearts, to clarify our minds, to process confusing emotions, to reflect on our experiences, to give artistic expression to what we are living, and to store significant events in our memories. Writing can also be good for others who might read what we write.

Quite often a difficult, painful, or frustrating day can be "redeemed" by writing about it. By writing we can claim what we have lived and thus integrate it more fully into our journeys. Then writing can become lifesaving for us and sometimes for others too.

Peaceful

2010-03-20T12:44:00.002-06:00

A quick, shaky video of Olivia sleeping.

Aiden needs TP...

2010-03-13T16:14:00.000-06:00

Went to the store today with the boys, didn't find what we were looking for but as we walked in there was a very big display of toilet paper. I asked the boys how long it would take them to use that much... Aiden said: "A week?"

Another quote

2010-03-11T12:40:00.004-06:00

From Henri Nouwen:

To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept.

Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that, those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even to dare to be silent with you.

Me & the OPP

2010-03-05T21:56:00.000-06:00

Interesting thing happened today. I went to Winnipeg today on behalf of a local greenhouse (owned by some folks in our church) to pick up boxes of live plants. I got picked up at 7:30am to go and pick up the rental van they were getting for me. A very nice 2009 Dodge Caravan (the van is important in this story just go along with me here). Picked up the van, went and got a Timmy's coffee for the drive and off we went to Winnipeg.

I was driving one van and another couple was driving a second larger cargo van. Picked up the plants in the 'Peg, had lunch and while the other van went to pick up some other supplies, I was full of plants and set off for home (after a quick stop at a camera store ).

Coming across the Manitoba/Ontario border I made a mistake. Well, I failed to realize that the speed limit on highway 17 there is 90 km/h. I was going too fast. How fast? Fast enough to get pulled over by a member of the Ontario Provincial Police. Doh.

Now I learned a long time ago, that it's best to have the stuff you know you're going to need ready for an officer. So I got the rental papers and my license ready and opened the window. I left the motor running as I was concerned about all the plants in the van. As this officer approached the van I could hear her give the license plate to the dispatch officer on the other end of her radio. All of a sudden she turned and returned to her patrol car, and said to me as she went, "Just wait in the vehicle sir, I'll be with you in a minute" (or something to that effect). A short time later there was two other OPP cars very quickly approaching me and then boxing my van in. As if I intended on going anywhere.

Then they proceeded to ask me to exit the vehicle with my hands in plain sight. I did so. Then I was told to put my hands on my head and then the top of the van. Then I was quickly patted down for concealed weapons. I was then told I was being detained for possession of stolen property.

Sorry?

Detained for possession of stolen property. Turns out, this van was reported as stolen by the rental company who owns the van. I was then firmly, but not harshly, handcuffed and asked to sit in the back seat of a patrol car. The car I was in was then moved a short ways away as it was blocking the eastbound lane of the TransCanada. I could not see what they were doing as the car was facing away from the van, but at one point I turned (uncomfortably - I might add) and saw the back hatch of the van open. I counted 3 marked patrol cars and one unmarked patrol car. Apparently this is a big deal this thing I'm involved in is. So now, apparently, I was in possession of a stolen van, that was full to the roof with valuable plants. Plants intended for distribution and sale in the city of Dryden. I did not see them open any boxes, but I'm sure they felt compelled to check what kind of plants where in at least one or two of the 25+ large boxes of plants in the van.

In time, it was established that the van had been reported as stolen some time before. Except that the rental company had retrieved the vehicle back from another town four weeks previous and had failed to inform the OPP that the van was no longer stolen. So when they routinely ran the plates of the van I had rented with dispatch, it was flagged. They then responded as they are supposed to with a person with a stolen van. The were polite but firm. In the end they apologized, they did not give me the speeding ticket that I rightly deserved and sent me on my way. I believe I mumbled a "sorry" and "thankyou" and walked back the van stunned.

The speed limit the remainder of the drive home was 90 km/h, I had the cruise set at 88 km/h. So now I know, and have respect for, the way police around here deal with suspects with stolen property.

There are at least a few people I know that will find this story at least mildly amusing.

So,

What did you do today?

For the record - Dale - I was detained, not arrested; and no I do not have any video, I thought it would rude to ask them to bring me my phone and undo my handcuffs to video the experience.

Some thoughts by another

2010-03-02T13:34:00.000-06:00

A quote from Henri Nouwen:

We like to make a distinction between our private and public lives and say, "Whatever I do in my private life is nobody else's business." But anyone trying to live a spiritual life will soon discover that the most personal is the most universal, the most hidden is the most public, and the most solitary is the most communal. What we live in the most intimate places of our beings is not just for us but for all people. That is why our inner lives are lives for others. That is why our solitude is a gift to our community, and that is why our most secret thoughts affect our common life.

Jesus says, "No one lights a lamp to put it under a tub; they put it on the lamp-stand where it shines for everyone in the house" (Matthew 5:14-15). The most inner light is a light for the world. Let's not have "double lives"; let us allow what we live in private to be known in public.

Update on my "owie"

2010-02-18T15:46:00.001-06:00

As you may or may not know a little while ago I hurt myself swimming with the boys (look here, here or here)

I thought I would update you all, as I know a few have asked about it.

First the story.

Took the boys and one of their friends to the pool, we were goofing around and while in the deep end (where I can still stand up-barely) I pushed off from the wall of the pool and attempted to swim beneath the boys. Managed to drag my face along part of the floor of the pool, maybe the grate, maybe a wrinkle in the liner, I don’t know. I knew at that moment that I had torn the skin open, just didn’t know how bad. I swam to the end of the pool and got out and asked the boys to come with me to get changed as we had to go home. We all got dressed, I took a band-aid from a guy in the change room and we left. I took the kids to our house and then after checking in the mirror again and conferring with Tara left by myself for the hospital.

Didn’t have to wait too long to be seen. While waiting I did take this picture with my cell phone. It’s lousy, but there it is.

Then I snapped this one just after the doctor put the stitches in, ten very small stitches.

This is with the steri strips.

You can see Tara’s blog post for the next day pictures.

I had shaved just before going to the pool, which was a good thing as I’m sure it made stitching my lip up easier on the doctor. Then I didn’t shave until yesterday because I wanted to be sure the wound had healed up real well before I started dragging a blade across it. So I really did not have a clear idea of how it had healed until I removed the poor resemblance of a goatee and stache I had been sporting. Can you say "patchy"? So here's the shot before the shave...

And after

And yes, I'm grinning like the Cheshire cat on purpose. Because, that right there is my face, and now you've all seen way too much of it.

trucks, kids and garbage

2010-01-18T15:02:00.000-06:00

Went on a dump run the other day with the boys. After we emptied the truck (thanks Don for taking us), the boys rode in the bed of the truck to the gate. I'll let the pictures tell how they felt about it.

Psalm 15

2010-01-12T10:34:00.000-06:00

A psalm of David.

1 Who may worship in your sanctuary, Lord ?
  Who may enter your presence on your holy hill?
2 Those who lead blameless lives and do what is right,
  speaking the truth from sincere hearts.
3 Those who refuse to gossip
  or harm their neighbors
  or speak evil of their friends.
4 Those who despise flagrant sinners,
  and honor the faithful followers of the Lord ,
  and keep their promises even when it hurts.
5 Those who lend money without charging interest,
  and who cannot be bribed to lie about the innocent.
Such people will stand firm forever.

This was part of my daily reading of Scripture today (along with Proverbs 15 which you should read if you have a minute). Today's reading, for me, was like a breath of fresh air in a stuffy room. You know, when you have too many people in a room for too long and it's warm and slightly humid and stuffy and you go to the door and open it and that blast of fresh cool air hits your face you and instantly are more alert and refreshed and you want more.

Christmas 2009

2010-01-03T12:22:00.001-06:00

Some photos around our house Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. There are captions on the flickr pages and if you click full screen and then "show info".

New Years & the Bible

2009-12-29T13:06:00.005-06:00

So as you get ready to start a new year, what are you hoping to do? I don't like the word resolutions because, to me, resolutions seems doomed from the start. I have always heard of more people breaking their resolutions then following through on them. I know it's not the word's fault, but I avoid using it anyways.

Sunday night at church we talked a little about making sure your devotional life is improving as we head to the New Year. In light of that, I thought I would share some online resources. You don't have to use the computer to read your Bible, you could just grab a Bible and start reading. Write down notes and questions on a scrap of paper. However, if you're the type that likes to use your computer or handheld, read on for two sites that have lots to offer that might be of help. These are two that I use, there's likely many more that are just as good or better...

Youversion
Reading Plans
Audio Bible, Study tools - Both are included in the browser window
Mobile Page

Bible Gateway
Reading Plans

Audio Bible

Study tools

Mobile Page

For what it's worth I will be starting one of the reading plans this week. Maybe, even more than one.

Waiting in the van

2009-12-21T21:54:00.000-06:00

So we had a to wait in the van a bit while Tara did some stuff. So first we went to McDonald's. Everyone did very well, but Olivia refused to eat. That is until we got back into the van.

We had to wait just a few more minutes in the van, so I tried to take a few nice pictures of the boys... they're pictures anyways...

on social networking and lurking

2009-12-10T09:46:00.000-06:00

I like the internet. I like Facebook and other social networking sites. But I sometimes wonder about it all. It's cool to be aware of what's going on in other people's lives. I love finding out about people who I once studied with, or went to church with, or whatever. Sometimes though, we just get a very small piece of the story. Like reading a newspaper story and having far more questions then when you started. Sometimes you want to ask a question, but it's been awhile, and you're not sure how to get into those discussions with those old friends. So rather than make a comment you lurk. I do this ALL the time. reading blogs, facebook pages, whatever; often wishing I could contribute something to the conversation, but feel like I am missing too much of the story to say anything. Has this ever happened to you? -> You make a comment on something trying to join a conversation and others just seem to ignore that you said anything? I dislike that, maybe it just says something about me.
So I (or maybe you) lurk and wonder. I am not sure there's anything to do to fix it, but I felt like expressing.

today

2009-12-06T21:27:00.000-06:00

Well, we finished another week. This week felt long. Had some great connections with people this week. Got a few things done I've been meaning to get going. We've had a number of unexpected gifts this week, more than a couple actually. God is good.
At our evening gathering today, there was some good food, great people and the service, I felt, was significant. So while I'm tired, wiped out really, it's good.
Rest tonight now, then tomorrow we drive to T-bay and Olivia has teeth yanked out of her head. Will let that worry hit me tomorrow, now I'm going to veg.

Pictures of Life

2009-12-05T16:01:00.002-06:00

(this is a duplicate post from my photoblog)

I've mentioned a couple of times about a project I've been working on. It's as ready as it will ever be for the public. It's a gallery of pictures (is this a surprise? probably not). First the pictures... then the details, along with how this might help you...

As some of you know, I'm a pastor. I've noticed that in some churches it seems a struggle to find good photos to use as a backdrop on their powerpoint presentation, or to slip behind the words when lyrics to songs are projected for group singing.

Over the last few months I've been challenged by many things to try and find a way to help others with my photography. So I started going through my photos to find images that would work for churches in what I've described above. Started with over 200 gigs, first cut was just over a 1000 images. This is a gallery of 200 images. If you have been following my photography for awhile you'll likely recognize these photos. They have been shared before. I am proud of these images.

If you are apart of a church and would like to use these in your services please do so. You can download them and size them to fit your screen and use them. Technically I'm putting a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.5 Canada License on these photos. Click the link to learn more. However I'm not real concerned with people knowing that I took the picture. If you do use them, it would be nice if you could send me an email or leave a comment with that photo on the photo gallery page

I went on two dates recently

2009-11-25T00:22:00.003-06:00

So, late last week I got to go on a date with someone, not my wife.

All I'll say, is she likes ketchup.

And then today, I went on a date with my wife. You know where we went? The grocery store. It was all good.

today

2009-11-05T15:48:00.005-06:00

So, I should have something to say in this space. But I'm struggling. I'll start and see where we end up?

Have you ever seen, or read, or heard, or thought of some really rather inspiring stuff and rather than 'doing' something you just think. Then in your thinking you go around in circles and then you just throw your hands up in the air and say, "well, I guess I wasn't that inspired to do something, just think it" - even though the inspiring stuff was awesome...

Did that make sense?

Ever feel overwhelmed? Ever feel like you have to do something, but not sure what, or how, or with whom? Ever feel like the stuff you write, the stuff you create, well, it is at best mediocre, and at worst, well, dung? Ya, me too.

Then I remember that most of relationship is just showing up. Even if you show up and your socks don't match and there's coffee on your shirt and you dragged mud in on the carpet.

So here's a prayer I'm writing out for those of us who sometimes feel like that...

Uh, God?

It's me again. I know I'm not doing all I should. I know I sometimes do stuff I shouldn't.

I'm trying, kinda, I mean I am, but I get overwhelmed with stuff. And I try to get by on the bare minimum. I know that's lazy, and I know better, it's true.

Thanks for loving me anyways. Thanks for not giving me what I deserve and thanks for giving me so much already and then some of what I don't deserve. I believe in you. I believe that you care for me. That you want me. I come and I bring such as I have, use it. Work through me or in spite of me. You've done so much, I will keep trying to show you how much that truly means to me, more than my words too.

I'm making this up as I go, so you'll need to help. I've learned a few things, thanks for that by the way, so I'll start there and see what happens okay? Have I told you lately that you are awesome? Ya.

Love ya, Amen.

it can be a long way up...

Philippians 3:12-14 (New Living Translation)
Pressing toward the Goal
¹² I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. ¹³ No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴ I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Taken from Bible Gateway HERE.

beauty in the background

2009-10-27T09:16:00.003-06:00

So as my wife has noted, illness has descended on our home. Kids are sick, Tara is beginning to feel "rough" and as for me? I think I'm close, but if I'm careful I might be able to sidestep most of it...

I was up relatively early with Olivia, around 6:30 or so. As I looked out the dining room window, the sun was just starting to paint all the undersides of the thin clouds that more vibrant sunrise pink. It was really pretty. I didn't snap a picture so you actually have to use your imagination here. As I was looking at it all part of me wanted to move the houses and the power lines and the other "clutter" that was getting in the way of the pretty scene in front of me.

Then it occurred to me, "beauty in the background". Even with sick kids, today is a new day. Despite the clutter in front of us, there is beauty in the background. It forms a sense of hope for me. That even with all the stuff in front of us, you can still see beauty. It still causes me to wonder at how a little pink on the bottom of clouds (pink of all colors!) can evoke these thoughts. How when another morning begins, if we watch for it, something beautiful will be there, in the background. You could easily miss it. I almost did. I almost didn't open the blinds, almost didn't stop to see what the morning looked like.

I found this verse and thought I'd share it. Hope that even with sickness and clutter, you see the beauty of today.

Proverbs 4:18 (New Living Translation)
¹⁸ The way of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,
which shines ever brighter until the full light of day.
New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers.

what I like in photos...

2009-10-14T10:15:00.001-06:00

(Note: this was on my photoblog, but I felt I needed to cross post it here too)

So Strobist had a post on colour palette in photos, specifically how do I use colour in my photos. I got thinking about how I tend to shoot and process my pictures. It got me thinking about my photos.

I think my I have tendency to have more saturated colours and in doing so I think many of my pictures lean to be a little underexposed. I often underexpose pictures to pull as much colour out and keep the contrast as high as I can. The lens I use the most is my 55-200VR lens.

I think this is one of the reasons I have a real hard time with shooting black and white. I don't naturally see things that way. I also seem to gravitate towards real tight crops when shooting people at events. I have come home from family or church events and realized that the only photos I really have are of individuals and not of the group function.

I think some of this reflects at least a part of who I am. The stronger colours reflect my optimistic leanings. I use photography more as an escape from my everyday life more than I do a vehicle to make statements. I use photography as a vehicle to help me pray, to see the good things in the world when I'm overwhelmed, and perhaps most importantly, give perspective the things in life I need to be thankful for.

I am drawn to photos that have a very strong and simple composition too. That center on one moment or one thing. Usually for me, it's something that is tied to a simple joy of something, or relationship, or just fun!

So what? What do I do with all of this? Do I try and go the other way and learn to be as rounded and balanced as possible? Or do I simply accept it and run with it as part of my style? Well, to start, I want to make sure that I really start working on exposure. I need to learn how to draw the colour I want out of photos without making them underexposed. I need to learn how to shoot with more than just that one lens, even if it's just to save that lens from wearing out while the others look brand-new (actually if you look at that lens you'll see it is worse for the wear, even though it is the lens I've had the longest). I also need to shoot events with an eye towards the larger event and not just the individuals within the event.

How do you use colour? How are you seeing the world? Does it come out in your photos? Do you even care? What are you looking to take pictures of?

Here's a few of my photos for fun.

1. morning dew, 2. trees v2, 3. tenacity, 4. a drive in the rain, 5. sunny, 6. raw tomato sauce, 7. finding the wind, 8. seagull 3 of 4, 9. gulp, 10. Purple on blurry green, 11. shrooms in the dark, 12. swings, 13. sucking pollen, 14. 20090805_4716-_DSC8288, 15. untitled, 16. untitled, 17. untitled, 18. grass shoots, 19. coke on the beach, 20. kiwi strobist, 21. glow, 22. sunset bumped up a bit, 23. can you find me?, 24. ladybug picnic

words

2009-10-13T18:14:00.002-06:00

I dug out the old magnetic words from a box today and put them on the fridge. Thought maybe the kids might like to play with them. I know I do. We got these when we were first married if memory serves...

Words can be fun.

faith vs disbelief

2009-10-07T15:23:00.003-06:00

Do I trust you?

I say I do

I say, I declare, I preach...

that the gift you already gave me was enough

That what you did to save me was enough forever

I even tell others that the one gift is enough

That I don't really need you to do any thing else

But do I really believe that?

If this happens will I hold it against you?

Will I trust you while I wait or will I worry?

I think I believe you

I do believe you

But I'm scared

So many things could go wrong

So many things could be so much easier if...

If something happened

I don't know what

I don't even know what to ask really ,

I don't know how to ask for nothing but everything at the same time

I trust you, I do, but I'm scared

I trust you, I do, but I'm worried

I trust you, I do, but I'm stressed

I trust you, I do, but I'm nervous

I trust you, I do, but I'm lazy

I trust you, I do.

You remind me that you have come through before

You remind me that you think of me

You remind me that you love me

You remind me that you've given me so much more than I deserve

Your way of teaching me is so different then what I would do

Your way of looking after me is so different then what I would do

Your ways are some much better than what I would do

All of these things I know in my head

But my fears sometimes get my head all mixed up

So even though you've already done so much,

I come again and ask for your help.

Because it's true...

2009-09-30T17:00:00.001-06:00

I'm a big fan of wtd. Check it out HERE.

bouncing light

2009-09-25T11:00:00.000-06:00

I like the moon. I'm not sure when I started really liking seeing the moon, but I do. The moon reminds me a little bit of life. Forgive me if you've heard me say this before (because I have said this before). The moon, as we know, doesn't produce any light of it's own; but the moon is normally the brightest thing in the night sky. You can see the moon during the day at times too.

It reminds me that I am ordinary, and that there are many other people in this world. There are many people who are more qualified than I am. There are others who are smarter, or more kind or whatever. However, if my life has light in it, the light comes from somewhere else.

I am not really trying to be self deprecating here, nor am I am trying to be unnecessarily humble. It's just that no matter where I am in my life, no matter how well or poorly I'm living my life, the thing I want others to see is Christ.

Even if the moon is only a sliver, and the light from the sun is only hitting a tiny bit of it, it's still the brightest thing in the sky. I find that terribly encouraging. That people don't have to see me. They may see the "texture" of my life, they may see the stuff I do that has left a scar, a crater from where through my own choices or just from life, I've taken hits, but the first I hope they see is the light. At first I hope they see I'm not just a big rock floating in space, but that they see the light (try not to linger on the "Doug as a big rock floating in space" image, it's not as compelling as the moon).

The first photograph I took of the moon the other night went all white, the moon's surface was overexposed, as the camera tried to balance the dark sky and the bright moon. So you saw the shape but not the detail. I ended up taking a number of photos until I got the amount of lunar surface texture that I thought looked good. The point is, often you have to really look at the moon to see that texture. Often to really see it you must magnify it.

This post as I think and reread feels a tad more corny then what I usually write about, but I saw the moon the other night and I felt I needed to write about what I thought.

Some thoughts about our life these days...

2009-09-16T16:08:00.002-06:00

We're getting ready to move. It's a big thing to do. Packing, taking things apart, sorting, picking up all kinds of heavy things and carrying them about.

Yet, God seems to be caring for us.

Life is tenacious. Grass, growing in a rock, right by swirling water. Often I think I need to be a little more tenacious. Pastoral ministry often has in it challenges. Things that can be hard. And yet it's when things are not hard, that is when things are easy that I find it hardest to be tenacious. As there seems to be no real need to be tenacious, you can just be. I think though, that for us to really do well we need to always be pressing ahead. Especially when things are easy. To teach and prepare, to rally people together, to build up, because when things become difficult, it is so much harder to do those things.

So, let these pictures be a reminder, that even when it's a big job, you still need to take it one step at a time and to be tenacious.

dark thoughts on a bright day

2009-09-03T15:01:00.006-06:00

Yesterday was a beautiful day outside (today too for that matter).

Among other things I went to a presentation yesterday. It was on domestic violence. It shared stories from women who had been battered. By men, claiming to be Christian. It shared the story of a church who's pastor was attacked by a son-in-law. It made my heart hurt. I'm at a loss for words.

My head was spinning so many different directions that I had to go for a walk. So I did, and I prayed and listened to a worship album. I'm still at a loss for words, but I do know this, a marriage should be a safe place.

I am constantly thankful for having a woman that I can stand back to back with and regardless of what the world does, of what anyone else does, she's with me and I'm with her. I want to see her flourish, to grow, to do things that neither one of us thought possible. I have absolutely zero desire to "control" her. I trust her with everything. We disagree at times, we even argue about stuff . But always, always I have felt safe with her and she with me. Without her support I doubt I could pastor at all.

I cannot imagine what life would be like without that kind of support from my spouse. I cannot imagine what it would be like to not feel safe in the relationship that is intended to be a safe point in the craziness of life.

So I walked. I listened and sang along with some worship music (don't worry I wasn't loud enough for anyone else to hear!). God knows that some people are in awful places in life. And yes, God does want his people to do something about it. So what do we do? Well, I am truly not sure, yet. God is leading in some directions these days that are getting me to pray more and more. To seek him more and more.

I have some personal projects in mind that hopefully will help others. People outside my family, outside even my church. Will be earth shattering? Likely not. But you have to start somewhere...

And through it all I am faithful that God will care for us as well. As I walked I saw these lily pads.

Luke 12:27 (New International Version)
²⁷"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.(Taken from BibleGateway.com)

A little of Galatians

2009-09-03T09:00:00.002-06:00

Galatians 3:23-29 (New Living Translation)
God’s Children through Faith
²³ Before the way of faith in Christ was available to us, we were placed under guard by the law. We were kept in protective custody, so to speak, until the way of faith was revealed.
²⁴ Let me put it another way. The law was our guardian until Christ came; it protected us until we could be made right with God through faith. ²⁵ And now that the way of faith has come, we no longer need the law as our guardian.
²⁶ For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. ²⁷ And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. ²⁸ There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. ²⁹ And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. You are his heirs, and God’s promise to Abraham belongs to you.

Copied from BibleGateway.com

lurking, moving, and prayer, amongst other things.

2009-09-02T10:34:00.004-06:00

So, recently I've not posted much material to the internets. Due largely in part to my inability to articulate anything intelligent. I've been working on some material on prayer in the background recently. Mostly just reading, studying and trying to be more disciplined in praying. To grow and stretch. To become a little more self-aware to things like attitude and how I speak to people (especially the kids).

I've been thinking about what this year will hold, as we begin the first full school year here in this community. Starting a new school year, Owen's in grade 1, Aiden starts grade 2. Olivia will start preschool in a little while. The only thing that stays the same is the amount of change.

One of the challenges for me is to be deliberate about doing things. It's very easy for me to just "let things happen", at times that's a big strength. I can go with the flow much easier than some people, but at other times it means a disproportionate amount of energy is required to get things moving, especially when it comes to internal motivation.

So what? I keep trying to learn. Keep trying to identify the things I'm doing well and the things that need work. To keep in touch with the people in my life: family, friends, church people, people in my community. Also, to grow more and more in those relationships - and in my relationship with God.

My relationship with God is best maintained when I come to him because I want to. And I do. Sometimes life gets in the way. I need to push back. Spending time with God is good. It makes everything else better.

What's the point of this post? Uh, to share what's in my head.

10

2009-07-31T09:42:00.009-06:00

Ten years today.

We invited,

People came. We wed,

We ate, actually Tara and I never tasted that cake but that's another story...

We then left on a ferry

Got to drive the boat!

Had a few wonderful days on a honeymoon,

And the 3653 days since have been good. Some great times, some hard times, some funny, some sad, but always have I been happy that we're together.

Ten years is a long time in some ways, but in others, it seems like we're just beginning.

I love you Tara.

For those who might care 10 years is:

From and including: Saturday, July 31, 1999

To, but not including : Friday, July 31, 2009

It is 3653 days from the start date to the end date, but not including the end date

Or 10 years excluding the end date

Alternative time units

3653 days can be converted to one of these units:

315,619,200 seconds
5,260,320 minutes
87,672 hours
521 weeks (rounded down)

Sunday

2009-07-19T21:32:00.004-06:00

So I sit here on the couch at the end of a Sunday. It feels like it has been a long day. Spent the morning going over my notes for this evening's service, and pouring over the computer trying to get more information on the forest fires in the Kelowna area (Tara's Aunt, Uncle and some other family live in the area). Then I tried to clean our van out some, which took a little more time then expected.

Went at four to help with the setup for our service. You know I love our church, it was good to see them. Good in the same way as a favorite comfort food is good when you're really hungry. Fills you up. Does that make sense?

We have been holding our services outside this summer, it's been really nice. Tonight I enjoyed it greatly, although preaching into the sun can be challenging. Couple of things happened today that I wanted to share.

The usual practice for Sunday afternoons goes something like this, those helping set up meet at 4 and we set up all the gear, when all that is setup and the whole music team has arrived then we take time to pray and then there is some rehearsal and at 6 we start our service. That is, more or less what we do.

Today however I somehow got all mixed up and wh

ile the music team was rehearsing I had it in my head that we had begun the service. Now I don't wear a watch, I often use my camera to tell time (although I have to take a picture first!). There was fourteen people assembled already and I thought that was the group we were going to have.

Interesting little dialogue went on in my head at that point, me and God talking some things through. I was clearly reminded that it's not my church. It's his, and he's called me to serve, to care for those that are there. Then, someone told me the time, still 40 minutes until the service is due to start. Okay, point taken, lesson learned.

Then after the service I realized that one family arrived to church in their sailboat. They had been out on the water all day and decided to take the boat up river and sail to church. That was a first for me. I had never before seen anyone come to church in a sailboat/yacht. How cool is that?!

And, tonight we've started to make some contact with our family in the Kelowna area, so far it appears that Tara's Aunt and Uncle's home is still intact. That seems like a miracle to me, but what do I know?

All I know is that hearing voices on the phone is a good thing. Hearing a voice is better than just receiving word. So that is today.

Scott Kelby Photowalk and some unrelated concerns)

2009-07-19T10:30:00.000-06:00

Here are some of the photos from my involvement in the 2nd Annual Scott Kelby Worldwide Photowalk. I had hoped to work on these a little more but have been unable to. In time I will add more pictures and perhaps rework these ones.

The reason I haven't been able to do much is that my wife's Aund and Uncle have been evacuated from their home in West Bank, British Columbia. West Bank and the western part of Kelowna are in flames from a 200+ hectare forest fire that started yesterday. The fire is (as of right now) still uncontained and authorities are evacuating more and more people. There are even rumblings that this fire might be bigger than the fire in 2003.

There are some pictures on one of the Kelowna news websites of them evacuating Les & Shirley here. They are featured in the second and third photos. If you're the praying type, please do so.

This post is duplicated on my other blog

today was a relaxing day

2009-07-13T22:47:00.001-06:00

We went to the beach today. A great day. Some pictures are here.

Friday

2009-07-10T14:16:00.005-06:00

It's Friday and Sunday's coming. I have been thinking about Sunday all week, and was thinking about it all last week too. Randall was talking about this Sunday on his blog today and it prompted me a little to blog about what's in my head.

I don't know if other pastors are like me, but it seems that summers mess with my head. People are coming and going, vacationing and travelling, busy and resting and it seems that services take a hit in attendance.

It can be hard to tell if people are slipping through the cracks, feeling disconnected from the church or if they are simply running around. Are people really busy, or are they taking a break from things to see how they feel. Are they doing it deliberately or does it just happen unconsciously? Those are the questions that sometimes run through my head. So I pray. So I lift up our people to God and hope that he prompts me to connect with those that need it and that others will connect with each other too.

Just because you can go to the beach, doesn't mean you no longer need community, and encouragement. So this Sunday, I think we're going to look at a Psalm and consider prayer some. We'll be meeting in the Cooper park, if you're around at 6:00pm stop by.

keep

2009-07-09T10:34:00.002-06:00

Keep it honest.

Keep it simple.

Keep it up.

Words that encouraged me today. How many different areas of life would be better if we learned this?

self

2009-07-04T19:17:00.002-06:00

Ever had a week where you found that your objections to things, are totally dumb. The things you find yourself objecting to could be regular chores, social gatherings, or just simple requests that people ask of you, things that are no big deal. Yet, there is a stubbornness inside that just doesn't seem to dissolve. That ever happen to you? Ya me too.

What do you do? I start praying. I know that sounds like a very pastoral kind of answer. But that's what I am, that and I find that God is the only one who I can verbalize all my stupid rationalizations, he listens and after verbalizing them to him I realize how dumb I'm being.

I start to sense some the things that are good in my life; certainly there are things I need to work on, but I am loved, by a few people and by God.

Now what remains is to keep moving forward, even though you feel like the world has chewed on you a bit.

(For what it's worth this photo very narrowly won a simple Facebook photo contest)

A Franciscan Benediction

2009-06-18T13:48:00.002-06:00

From my reading today there was, as an aside, this benediction:

A Franciscan Benediction

May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and
To turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.

Amen
(p105, Prayer by Philip Yancey)

the past & prayer

2009-06-16T15:01:00.004-06:00

Have you ever had thoughts and memories of the past float through your mind in a way that made you wonder how things turned out the way they did? Why did that relationship get all weird? How did that work at all? How did that get to be so great? How did that all fall apart? Was the mistake made my fault, their fault or our fault? If we had taken the time would relationship have been restored?

Big questions really. Tough questions. I think it's those questions that seek to help us see ourselves more clearly, or simply slip into blaming others. I'd like God to simply work in the areas where I've made a mess of things, and I'm really thankful for all that he has done.

I read this quote today from Yancey's book entitled prayer, Yancey quoting Ray Anderson;

"Prayer is not a means of removing the unknown and unpredictable elements in life, but rather a way of including the unknown and unpredictable in the outworking of the grace of God in our lives."

(p82, PRAYER, by Philip Yancey)

I don't know about you, but prayer and the past and all of the stuff we carry in our hearts and heads can be overwhelming. Yet for me the grace of God still shines through.

I hope all that made sense to someone other than me, if not, please refer to the title of this blog.

hmmm

2009-06-14T12:06:00.003-06:00

I thought about blogging today, but I don't have anything to say and I don't feel like it.

Down by the dock

2009-05-30T22:26:00.000-06:00

click to see large
We went down to the government dock tonight and threw rocks in the water. I think they had fun.

a walk to the park

2009-05-21T08:16:00.001-06:00

Put this together with video clips and stills from a walk that the kids and I had.

Sermon Wordle

2009-05-16T12:30:00.000-06:00

So I dumped the notes from my sermon last week into Wordle, this is what came out.

The last few days

2009-05-16T09:12:00.000-06:00

So this is what I drove home in last night. The last few days I have been away at a meeting in Regina and then another meeting in Winnipeg. Both were great and some good discussions. Lots of driving, but really is this what spring is going to be about this year? Yet it's great to be home.

The Hunt for Gollum

2009-05-11T00:09:00.004-06:00

If you know that LOTR is the common abbreviation for "Lord of the Rings", then it may interest you to know that while it seems that "the Hobbit" won't hit theatres until sometime in 2011 or 2012, there is a Tolkien inspired fan based movie that has just been released on the web recently.

You can read a BBC online article about it here. Here is the main site.

It's entitled: "The Hunt for Gollum" and takes place between the Hobbit and the Fellowship of the Ring. Quick synopsis, Strider (aka Aragorn) searches for Gollum.

The movie is about 40 minutes long, and while the budget was relatively small, it's pretty cool. I enjoyed it, but then I'm a LOTR fan.

If you're a fan go watch it. You can only view it online, currently at DailyMotion, although it appears that in the next little while it will be posted to other video sharing sites.

While it's not quite up to standards for New Line Cinemas, it is so much better then I had expected a fan based movie made not-for-profit for other fans of Tolkien.

Just for fun here's the link to the first LOTR movies.

UPDATE:

I have found another Fan based LOTR movie here that I have not seen yet, although it looks great.

music on dusty shelves

2009-04-30T21:43:00.003-06:00

So over the last little while I've been dumping some of old CDs onto my computer and mp3 player. Bands I listened to in college. 26 disks so far...

Here's a list:

Tragically Hip
Watchmen
Hootie and the Blowfish,
Pearl Jam,
Our Lady Peace,
3rd eye blind,
Oasis,
Goo Goo Dolls,
Great Big Sea,
really old Sarah McLachlan stuff,
Space Jam soundtrack,
Crash Test Dummies,
Big Wreck,
Barenaked Ladies

It's weird though, the music hasn't changed. But I have. I'm older. I'm married, now, have a trio of kids, my oldest turned 7 today (see Tara's post for a cool little video she made of photos).

Yet while I don't enjoy all of it the way I did back then, some I have truly enjoyed listened to, because it seems to connect to a part of my life years ago. It's good to have a sense of where you came from, a sense of who you are without all the forces around you pushing and pulling you to be something else. I learned a lot about life in the 90's. It's good to groove to music that I haven't listened to in so long that it feels like it's fresh- if you know what I mean, but I know all the words.

So no, I am not going to live in the 90's, but for awhile, I'll be there musically.

pink...

2009-04-24T22:07:00.002-06:00

So today I was buried in pink.

I was loading the washing machine and found that I had a whole load of pink things. Now this was not something I had ever imagined myself doing. However at this point in my life I am tied to the colour pink. Pink now completely and totally reminds me of my daughter Olivia. Pink does not remind me of Tara, if any colour reminds me of her it's green. But now I don't despise pink. Now I kinda like pink. Honestly it's funny how some things change you.

Anyhow, here's a few photos of my little girl. It's official (and has been for some time) I'm smitten.

Sitting on the porch with a friend...

2009-04-23T12:05:00.003-06:00

Have you ever just sat with an old friend on the porch?
Just sitting, sometimes chatting, sometimes not.
Where just being together is like a healing balm to your whole person. As your body rests from the sitting, your soul rests in the presence of trusted and beloved friend. Have you ever had such a wonderful moment where time slips away but leaves a fabulous warmth in your heart as it does?

Most of us long for those kind of connections. Most of us have no idea how to make those moments happen, or even how to encourage them. So when they do happen we hold onto them like crazy, reliving them many times in our imagination afterwards. The only thing we know is that those moments only come if you give them space. You can’t have moments if you never get together with your friend. If you never carve time out for them you can’t have those moments.

I think sometimes we expect Jesus to show up and do that for us every Sunday. Yet if we never give him the space or time, is that a realistic expectation?

Oh Lord, I so long that you would come soon so that the promises, all the things that up to now fall into that “not yet” category, becomes the now. If not, will you come and be with me today? Will you bring warmth and healing to my stone like heart? Strengthen and encourage, gently teach and show me the way to do all of life better, show all of us how to be your people, your church, your bride.
We love you, but not as much as you love us.

All of a sudden it was 1997...

2009-04-14T14:48:00.002-06:00

So I'm driving Aiden home from school and the grocery store and we were talking about the warm weather and having a barbeque tonight, and I said ' should we listen to some music on the way home?' and he replied 'Oh yeah! Some rock and roll!',

So I put in a kids CD on that we have in the van. He said 'that's not rock and roll!!!'.

So in a scramble I slammed in an almost forgotten about CD and was taken back to 1997...

Anyone remember "Big Wreck - In Loving Memory of"?

Here's a little reminder...

Easter 1989

2009-04-12T23:17:00.002-06:00

I was baptized on Easter Sunday 1989.

Twenty years ago.

Thoughts are swirling between my ears.

Me and Church and other people

2009-04-11T18:50:00.001-06:00

I'm a pastor. For the vast majority of the time I enjoy what I do. I love the church. It's not a popular sentiment these days, but I've never been cool. I grew up in the church. Aside from home, it was where I learned about God, where I learned to grow and mature as a Christian. As I went from childhood to my teen years, it was in church, specifically the youth program at my church, that I was pushed to grow more in my walk and make my faith 'my own' (as opposed to something that my parents did).

I read this week a reminder about the nature of truth and love it said this:

Love without truth is hypocrisy

Truth without love is brutality

The church is messed up. We can be inward focused, selfish, push personal agendas, and generally be mean to each other and judgemental (or worse) of the world. I get that. I get that many people have been hurt by the 'church', which is really just a nice way of saying that other people, other Christians have hurt you. Sometimes that comes through deliberate actions and sometimes it's because something was left undealt with or was never seen.

That sucks. It's more than likely I have even hurt people. My choices or lack of making a choice has hurt people. Sometimes you know that a choice you make is not only going to be unpopular, but difficult for someone. Sometimes you have no idea. Sometimes hindsight tells you that the way something worked out hurt people, even though you didn't mean it.

So what am I trying to say really?

Leaving the church isn't the answer. There are times when you need to leave a particular church, but giving up on ALL church is not going to help anyone.

The question I then have, and it's a question I ask on a regular basis is this:

Well what should church look like then? Because in my mind it's easier to find things wrong then come up with solutions.

While I grew up in the church, at the end of it all I wasn't left with the same kind of 'traditional' feeling that some people get. I mean I remember poking fun at different parts of our church life or of some of the people who did things a certain way. People poked fun at me too, and my wife feels that was entirely appropriate as this was the era of the Doug Mullet. I have also been informed that I am in no way ever to have that kind of a hair cut again, or she'll go and cut my hair in my sleep with a rusty steak knife, but I digress. (If there are any people from my youth group days who can tell me which family's pool this photo was taken at, hit me in the comments)

The point is though that nothing ever really felt 'traditional' to me. There were things that I liked and things that bored me to tears. There were parts of church life that resonated with me and parts of it left me scratching my head.

I wanted to become a pastor because I felt like I had to give back a little of what others had given me. God used the work and effort of regular people to impact my life.

Sure over the years there are some people that don't understand me and rail against me at times, but not everyone. I remember pivotal points in my life where different people in my church(s) were used by God to break through my defences and teach me something. People like Jim, who taught a Sunday school class in Junior High, my quiz coaches pushing me to memorize (even though I only quizzed one year), Pastor Gerry who God used in big ways, Steve a youth sponsor who drove bus and prayed with me the night God rattled my cage in a big way at a Good Friday rally in Unionville. I remember the ladies who sang their hearts out and showed me that all kinds of music could be worship (I wasn't listening to anything like what they were singing on my walkman). I remember the encouragment people gave me the night I was baptized (Easter Sunday 1989). The people in the church I interned at who loved me and challenged me and showed me things. And many in the churches I've served as pastor. And as much as I remember I know that there were more things that God used to shape me.

I suppose I struggle with those who can walk away from church in general. Despite all the chaos that I've seen in churches (and likely I haven't seen as much hurt and chaos as many have) God still used it to impact me. For me being a pastor is a small way to serve the church that has prayed for me, challenged me, taught me and at times has hurt me.

Often though, I don't know what to do to make the church better. Often I don't know how to get people to change. Often I don't know how to bring depth to something that often is shallow. I struggle at length at times to find a way to communicate the immense gratitude I have inside for all the things that God has done.

It was twenty years ago that I was baptized on Easter Sunday, perhaps that's why I am writing this really long post. I'm still here. My intention is, that twenty years from this Easter I will still be in church; and twenty after that and... (although I'm not sure I'll be pastoring 40 years from now, but who knows, maybe I'll be the guy trying desperately to stay awake during the service and Tara will be jabbing me in the ribs with an elbow to keep me from snoring during the sermon).

May you find a new appreciation for our Lord Jesus this Easter weekend and find new ways to love the church.

The pastor's question is

2009-04-01T14:47:00.001-06:00

The pastor's question is, "Who are these particular people, and how can I be with them in such a way that they can become what God is making them?"

-Eugene Peterson, The Contemplative Pastor

kids playing with a camera remote

2009-03-22T13:33:00.002-06:00

Ya this was kinda funny.

AMOK Creative arts ministry presents Jellyfish

2009-03-20T12:42:00.001-06:00

An excellent reminder.

Lost Generation

2009-03-15T13:38:00.001-06:00

Worth watching!

The new Sunday routine

2009-03-08T10:01:00.002-06:00

So here it is the first Sunday I will be preaching at this new-to-me church and I've been at home all morning. No, I'm not sick, but it is starting to sink in a little more that having the church service in the evening feels very different then having it in the morning.

So today we have the first Sunday where I will preach a 'full' sermon and then we'll have a membership meeting to talk about some stuff before the AGM next week. I am so lucky, this year I get TWO annual general meetings! Although really it appears that both meetings will be great fun.

So despite everything feeling very different and foreign, today seems like a good day. Gotta run out in a little while to pick up some ink cartridges so I can print out my sermon notes... we have ink, somewhere in a box, so rather than dig through the maze of boxes for another small box, I'm going to the big store where someone in a blue smock can tell me where the small boxes are and I'll give another person in blue some money and we'll come home and try printing.

I hope today has been good for you.

updates

2009-03-07T15:25:00.002-06:00

So I had expected to have more written on here in the last few days. In time I'd like to take some new pictures to update the blog layout (haven't done that yet if you're reading this through RSS).

There's been lots going on, mostly involving boxes and moving the things in them around throughout the house. We're enjoying the house. I'm doing my best to enjoy what's happening 'now' without worrying about what's next.

I'm trusting that God is working behind the scenes so that the things I will bring on Sunday to this new (to us) group of people would be helpful and encouraging.

So for those asking, things are good. Lots to do, unpacking, there's some extra parenting required these days as the kids are all over the map. There's peopel to have coffee and meals with. There's things to learn (mostly on my part).

I'm thankful. I'm trying to be patient. I'm hopeful. I'm kinda tired. I wonder about those we left.

But moving is like that...

So, I'm soaking things up, trying to cope and learn and laugh, and today, I've had LOTS of coffee.

back!

2009-03-03T00:46:00.002-06:00

Well the move is done. The unpacking, whilst underway, is not done. First service is over, first leadership meeting is done and we now have internet at home. I also can claim that I had the first blog post in this house! That may not sound like much of a boast, but when it comes to blogging I come a distant second place to her.

So far, things are good. I'm tired, but good. There seems to be lots to do at home, at the church but I'm very thankful. I'll write more soon... stay tuned.

the last push

2009-02-25T09:12:00.002-06:00

Last full day of packing begins. Coffee is brewing, kids are at school, in a short while there will be furniture to disassemble more boxes to pack, errands to run, mail to pick up and then this afternoon I swim with grade ones.

Tomorrow morning we load a truck (all things being well).

Strength for today and faith for tomorrow.

not quite what was expected

2009-02-24T23:31:00.003-06:00

So today was weird. She posted the stuff about the appointment, didn't turn out at all like we hoped. That took the wind out of the sails a little.

Aside from that, we did some shopping at Wally world and ate at MickeyD's. I walked through London Drugs today and was a little saddened that a few of the cameras I've been quietly (and unexpectantly) dreaming about are priced higher than I expected, oh well, c'est la vie.

So when we heard the results of this long awaited and might I add seemingly providentially provided appointment, it kinda was a low point. We had a short visit with my sister in law, the kids were done, but it was nice to see her. My brother is away on business and it may be some time before we see them again, which is very sad.

Then on the drive home, things started out kinda somber and then we had a great talk and things seem a little brighter, albeit overwhelming with the move, the future, and just life. But it seems we talk the best while driving, perhaps because there's less distractions and the kids are strapped in and we don't need to chase them out of stuff.

Now I've taken a large shelf apart, packed a bunch of boxes from my workshop (sheesh I have a lot of junk) and now I'm done. Tired from driving in the snow (almost hit a bus), tired from the news, from packing, from a long day.

So goodnight folks, tomorrow is a new day.

To the city!

2009-02-24T08:26:00.003-06:00

So we start our trip to the city of Saskatoon today. Appointment for Aiden. It's a big day. We have tons to do yet, to pack to sort through, to arrange. As overwhelmed as I was yesterday, I have faith today that it might get done. Truck will be here to be loaded Thursday morning. We will drive away on Friday morning.

Had a wonderful evening last night visiting with our neighbors. Had a great visit yesterday afternoon with some folks from the church who stopped by with a little gift for my desk to remember them and here with.

Have been praying in my head for lots of things, lots of people - here, there and everywhere.

Oh and tomorrow I've been volunteered to help take the grade one class swimming. I could be the only Dad going (aka boys change room supervisor). Sheesh.

Hope today is a great day for you and yours.

Just another Sunday?

2009-02-22T11:50:00.002-06:00

So today I find myself in a different spot. I'm at home on a Sunday morning, and I'm not on holidays. The one Sunday between the old and the new. Life feels a little surreal. Lots to do, would rather not do some of it. Packing is draining. Caught up between the sadness of leaving one and the excitement of going to another.

Details seem to overwhelm, so I'm trying to keep the bigger picture in mind as that seems to bring some clarity, or at least purpose in why we undergoing what we are. And yet here I sit blogging instead of packing...

I like the interweb.

Zack Arias - needed to be reposted

2009-02-20T10:30:00.002-06:00

Found this via Chase Jarvis' blog, it was also posted on Scott Kelby's blog and on Zack's blog too.

First the video and then a thought...

Inspiring, to me at least. What I take away from this is: share what you know. The stories you tell that you know best are your best stories. I have a few more ideas for my photos after watching this... and I'm one of the hacks that suck, as he says towards the end of the video, but that's okay, I'm learning!

Even after

2009-02-19T11:44:00.000-06:00

(Click on the image for some of the details on how this image was taken.)

Even after all these years (it will be ten years married the end of July) she'll still kiss me on occasion.
I need to share with you all how much my wife rocks. She is a blogging machine (1016 posts as of today!), she truly cares for a lot of people - even when she says she doesn't, she cares for our kids and will relentlessly pursue what's best for them, she laughs at my stupid jokes (which is great evidence of long suffering). I truly do love her. Our life together has been an incredible ride, up and down and all over. As we start on a new chapter of adventures there is no one else I'd rather have with me.

(I decided to post this on both blogs...)

Today.

2009-02-15T19:29:00.003-06:00

Today was a long day.

It began with my son asking if he could get up terribly early.

Later I discovered I had left the interior lights on in the van yesterday and it didn't start. Great.

Also, today was my last day as the pastor of Tisdale Alliance Church. I went relatively early to the church to get the powerpoint and things setup for the service.

The service was amazing really. The high point really for me was a song that was written and sung by a woman on our worship team (who also cleans the church).

I got to preach on the end of Mark 6 where Jesus walks on water and the disciples are described as hard hearted.

We then had a potluck lunch. Feast is a more appropriate word. Some folks shared some very kind words and they gave us an extravagant gift (the one that always fits). Some tears, lots of hugs and handshakes. It is sad to see this chapter of our life come to an end, but I feel at peace.

As often seems the way, had some wonderful connections with people in the 'margins' of the day if you know what I mean. Snippets and short exchanges here and there that were a very real encouragement.

As we were finishing, we received some encouraging news concerning some of the details of our move. Then as we were leaving we got a boost for the van (thanks Jonathan!) and we got some snacks and took a little drive as the house was being shown this afternoon. On our drive we saw a pair of moose come out of a small stand of trees off the highway. We stopped and both Tara and I were able to take some pictures of the pair.

Here's one of him:

The four of us quite enjoyed watching them for a few minutes (Olivia was sound asleep). It's been a long time since either Tara or I saw one.

An excellent day really, and now I'm terribly tired.

Me, a pastor, on the church and 'Cheers'

2009-01-29T10:57:00.010-06:00

As my family and I start to work through the transitions of our lives; finishing at one church and anticipating starting at another; I have a few thoughts. Add to that we are in annual meeting time when we write reports and reflect and plan for the future there is a few thoughts banging around in the grey fluffy bits between my ears.

Randall wrote a post yesterday about overhearing a group of pastors discussing things in a bookstore today. His post pushed the thoughts that have been brewing down below to the surface of my mind.

Let me start by saying this - I love the church. Really I do.

For some people I know this is perhaps the most unbelievable thing I could write. The church is a place that sometimes is a hard place to be. We are sometimes hurt by what happens in church.

But as I reflect on my journey, for all the things that at times drive me crazy about the church and about her people; I also know that without her I would not know God as I do today. I became a pastor because I felt like it was through the church that God reached out and made Himself known to me. Because of all that, I think the purpose of the church is the single most important thing going on here on the big blue marble called earth.

Often I think the most important thing I can do to help the church is simply to love her and her people.

As a young(er) person I would (like many) watch "Cheers". I think one of the things I (and likely many others) liked about that show was that idea that despite all the stuff that is going on in life there was a place of friends you could go to be together and hang out.

I have always really like the theme song from Cheers written by Gary Portnoy , the show only ever played the first verse of the song, but here's the whole song.

Makin' your way in the world today
Takes everything you've got
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot
Wouldn't you like to get away?

All those nights when you've got no lights
The check is in the mail
And your little angel
Hung the cat up by it's tail
And your third fiance didn't show

Sometimes you wanna go
Where Everybody Knows Your Name
And they're always glad you came
You wanna be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You wanna be Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Climbing the walls when no one calls
You've lost at love again
And the more you're down and out
The more you need a friend
When you long to hear a kind hello

Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee's dead
The morning's looking bright
And your shrink ran off to Europe
And didn't even write
And your husband wants to be a girl

Be glad there's one place in the world
Where Everybody Knows Your Name
And they're always glad you came
You wanna go where people know
People are all the same
You wanna go Where Everybody Knows Your Name

I think the song is a longing, a desire to go somewhere where people accept you as is. Where you can just 'be'. I think that's my prayer for the church. That we would be like Cheers, no, not in the womanizing beer drinking way, but in the way where people can come and gather and be accepted, and dare I say, even loved, as disfunctional and as messed up as we are. To me that's the great promise of the gospel; that I'm loved just as I am, and more than that Jesus loves me so much he doesn't leave me where I am but helps me grow and become more.

I hope these ramblings make sense to another mind besides my own...

Here's the song (or a part of it anyways)

Things are looking up!

2009-01-26T16:55:00.004-06:00

So we received word today that Aiden will be able to get the assessement appointment seven months early! With our upcoming move it appears that the powers that be decided it would be great to get this thing done with before we move! To say that this is an exciting thing doesn't convey the relief and thankfulness my wife and I have (she talks about it here). So we will be heading to an appointment at the end of February before we move to another province. I am thankful beyond words (literally).

We have had "un"official diagnosis' that Aiden has a high functioning autism spectrum disorder, likely Aspergers Syndrome, or perhaps a sensory intergration disorder. Which essentially means that among other things he experiences the world slightly different than the rest of us. His responses to some things are sometimes disproportional to whatever the stress is. All of us are learning what all that means and some things to help him thrive here at home and at school instead of conflict over behaviour.

Here is a photo I took of him the other day.

So I'm thankful, it's miraculous that this came about.

photoblog

2009-01-26T13:09:00.004-06:00

Since mid December my photoblog has been locked by blogger as they felt it was being fed by some kind of spam bot. After a month and three attempts to prove I was not a spam bot it has been released by the collective that is blogger and I have been able to post again on there.

So there, if you're interested, go check it out.

Under the bed

2009-01-22T12:34:00.002-06:00

So, true story...

The other night we put the boys to bed and after turning out the light Owen called me in and told me there were alligators under his bed. He then asked me to pray that there would be no alligators under his bed, because asking Jesus to help was the only way to fix it, so we prayed. He was greatly relieved.

As I said good night again and was walking out the door Aiden (who is in the top bunk) said with a sly tone: "Owen is under my bed".

I thought it was funny...

Some news from us

2009-01-18T15:58:00.001-06:00

Today,

This morning it was announced that I am resigning from our church here and will soon move to another community to Pastor a church there. It has been a very interesting journey to get to this point. I am excited at what the future will hold, I’m sad to be leaving the people here that have become apart of our lives. There have been so many changes in our lives here. Owen could barely crawl when we arrived here, now he’s a very active five year old. Aiden turns seven at the end of April. We have a two year old little girl!! I’m ordained now. Tara started blogging. The transition is more than slightly overwhelming. Packing up house and moving is going to be a job (did you know I strongly dislike moving?!), but we think this is very much the thing we are to do.

If you’re the praying type, you can pray for us, pray for the church we’re saying goodbye to and pray for the church who will be accepting us in March.

Lots of emotions to go through between now and then, but for now, I’m at peace.

So, if you didn’t already, now you know what’s going on with us.

thedrivehome

2009-01-16T15:19:00.003-06:00

today in a few pictures.

2009-01-10T22:27:00.005-06:00

A few pictures from today.

Contact

2009-01-01T11:31:00.009-06:00

Places you can find me:

Email: douglasjacobrobertson@gmail.com or
doug.robertson@timberschurch.com
Photo Portfolio www.dougrobertson.smugmug.com

Blog: www.dougrobertson.blogspot.com

Photo Blog: www.dougrobertsonphoto.blogspot.com

Flickr (pictures): http://www.flickr.com/photos/salguodbocaj

Twitter: http://twitter.com/dougrobertson

Shared items from my Google Reader

FriendFeed: http://friendfeed.com/dougrobertson
Google Profile: http://www.google.com/profiles/douglasjacobrobertson

Turkey troubles

2008-12-27T17:55:00.003-06:00

Every time we have a 'big' meal, like thanksgiving or Christmas there always seems to be something going on with the turkey.

Anyways, this year I bought a bigger bird than I normally get, usually I buy the smallest one I can find. Bought it brought it home stuck it in the freezer and put it in the basement fridge on the twenty-first. I figured four days in there would give us a thawed bird to roast. Not so much. I should have checked on it in that time but didn't. I found a not rock hard frozen turkey but a kinda of softish frozen turkey. A quick search on the internet found this web page about cooking a turkey from frozen. We tried it, I mean what choice did we have?

It turned out very well actually. Rave reviews from Tara and my mother in law and even our guests thought it was good. This particular turkey was the fattest thing I have ever seen that used to have feathers. I mean wow, drippings like crazy, we could have made more than four cups of gravy.

So that's the turkey story of 2008.

Challenged.

2008-12-26T23:54:00.002-06:00

There has been a Bible character that over the last decade or so, that has kinda jumped out at me around Christmas and afterwards. Simeon. The guy in Luke 2:21-35 that Mary and Joeseph met when they brought Jesus in for his circumcision.

I heard a monologue given from the viewpoint of Simeon years ago and it struck me. Then the other day I read this over at another pastors' blog.

And well, again, God is challenging me with some stuff from Simeon again. What is my hope built on? What am I looking forward to? Would I follow if I was "moved by the Spirit" (vs27)? How big a deal is Jesus?

There's about a zillion other questions that start to pop into my head, but then I breathe deep and remind myself that this Jesus; He loves me. As I am. He wants me to know him. So I dust myself off and move forward, thankful for the grace and mercy he has for me.

Today was a good day, I'm off to bed. Good night folks.

Princess Bride Lightsaber Battle

2008-12-26T13:03:00.001-06:00

Okay, this is just for fun. Made me laugh out loud, for real even!

cold

2008-12-22T23:23:00.000-06:00

Took this today. Did you know that it's cold here? It is.

stitched with hugin.

Best viewed LARGE

Collage

2008-12-13T16:33:00.006-06:00

Some pictures from Thanksgiving and early December of Phil, Erica and our family, there's even a few of my mother in law in there somewhere. If you are willing to click through you can find a supersized version.

(p.s. Mom, I will try and mail you one of these before Christmas!)

Likely your camera wouldn't take these pictures...

2008-12-05T22:49:00.002-06:00

Most of the time I think that the best camera is the one you have with you. For most of us, the limits of our photography are in our ability to translate what's in your head to an image.

Sure I could use a better camera, sure it would help me make better pictures, but I don't believe I have come up to the limits of my camera as I have come to the limits of my imagination and ability.

That being said; THIS blog post could be made into an ad for the sheer mind numbing speed and ability to focus of the Nikon D3. Even if you don't read the post (which you should) just scroll down and see the mayhem. Very cool pictures, I hope the guy was okay.

Livestrong

2008-12-05T18:49:00.001-06:00

This video is intense. As far as communication goes, this is great. Take 2:47 and watch it.

More learning and maybe some inspiration

2008-12-05T17:00:00.001-06:00

Lately, I've been hanging out a little at ted.com. TED stands for Technology, Education and Design, it's all about ideas, as they say, Ideas worth spreading some you'll agree with, some you won't; but there's some great stuff in there, I've only scratched the surface. Most of the talks are less than twenty minutes, which makes listening to them easier.

I've been thinking about communication this week; what does it mean to communicate something? How do you communicate, or give to someone else that which defies words, passion? Do you use a story, do you present and interpret numbers in a way that shows something really neat. Do you show the problem and carry people through the solution? All of them work, but bottom line is, are the ideas you're trying to share with people ideas that have changed your life? Are the ideas that you are learning about are they things that can change attitudes, lives and if we let it the world?

I think the gospel fits into that space as an idea that can change attitudes, lives and indeed the world. Can we communicate it in a way that people people will see that?

presentations

2008-12-04T11:00:00.000-06:00

The other I did some learning. I worked through a youtube video session (caution: one hour and eleven minutes) that was given by Garr Reynolds of the Presentation Zen blog. He deals with presentations. Here are some of the quotes from his presentation on presentations.

Simplicity means the achievement of maximum effect with minimum means. - Dr. Koichi Kawana

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. - Leonardo daVinci

Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated awesomely simple, that's creativity. - Charles Mingus

In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities. In the expert's mind there are few. - Shunryu Suzuki

It's taken me all my life to learn what not to play. -Dizzy Gillespie

[Presentations] are a balance of three rhetorical proofs: ethos (ethical), pathos (emotional), and logos (logical). - Aristotle

It was good. I learned stuff. Not the least of which was that I learned (again) that Google Talks is an amazing little place on the interweb if you want to hear presentations on different things. I love watching the styles of presentations that different people are using. It's a good way for me to stretch my thinking in how to communicate.

Check it out.