He's not our baby anymore and he certainly is big. But he's our little Owen. (Okay mushy bit over)
Thursday, March 15, 2007
If there was any doubt...
One of the discussions that routinely comes up with our family is how much the kids have grown. Often it is phrased "look how big you are!". Aiden thinks this is great. Olivia doesn't understand words, but she's excited about any and all attention that she gets. Then, there's Owen. Owen is our middle child. Owen does not want to be big. Owen does not want to be the baby. Owen, would like to be little. It causes great stress for him to be described as big. So, if you see him, you can think he's big, but you don't need to tell him. I know he's big, Tara knows he's big, anyone who sees him knows he's big, and if there was ever any doubt....
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
On Homework
I decided to split this post up because they cover very different things.
As Tara (my wife) mentions we are going to some counseling. As someone who often has remarked that counseling would do anyone a lot of good, I had some concerns about going. Mostly on what people would say if I went. That aside - the "homework" we were given for this next session was: list your stress and what you do to cope with it. Sounds simple enough, except when you start. I'm tempted to put down: drink excessively while juggling my children through the air over burning coals. I won't put that down. I guess I'm a little annoyed because it's making me realize how silly some of the things in even my head are (those of you reading this who were on my floor in bible school - stop snickering!). The thing is, I knew/know that many of the things I'm stressed about are silly. I also know that some of the things I do to cope are silly. The big problem is: how to change? I have been describing myself lately as being "as focused as a disco ball", because that's how my attention seems to be going; spinning around the world in a lot of really cool dots that make you kind of zone out, and it doesn't really accomplish much.
I don't want to sound like I'm totally depressed, because I'm not. There are times I'm overwhelmed, but I don't think those are the same things.
But hey what do I know?
Well, I had better start to figure out all the things that stress me out and what I do with them, so I can say I did my homework.
I dare you to try figuring those things out.
As Tara (my wife) mentions we are going to some counseling. As someone who often has remarked that counseling would do anyone a lot of good, I had some concerns about going. Mostly on what people would say if I went. That aside - the "homework" we were given for this next session was: list your stress and what you do to cope with it. Sounds simple enough, except when you start. I'm tempted to put down: drink excessively while juggling my children through the air over burning coals. I won't put that down. I guess I'm a little annoyed because it's making me realize how silly some of the things in even my head are (those of you reading this who were on my floor in bible school - stop snickering!). The thing is, I knew/know that many of the things I'm stressed about are silly. I also know that some of the things I do to cope are silly. The big problem is: how to change? I have been describing myself lately as being "as focused as a disco ball", because that's how my attention seems to be going; spinning around the world in a lot of really cool dots that make you kind of zone out, and it doesn't really accomplish much.
I don't want to sound like I'm totally depressed, because I'm not. There are times I'm overwhelmed, but I don't think those are the same things.
But hey what do I know?
Well, I had better start to figure out all the things that stress me out and what I do with them, so I can say I did my homework.
I dare you to try figuring those things out.
On today
Today has been a long day. I should be asleep, but I felt I should make an update here.
Drove into Saskatoon today (about two and half hours), about halfway there we came upon whiteout, horizontal snow blizzard conditions (did you know it's March 14th?), went to a doctor's appointment for Tara, had lunch with a close friend/mentor ministry couple, and then actually caught up with my cousin Chris and chatted with him for about an hour before both of us had to go. Then drove home, all the while still snowing until magically all the snow disappeared about the same place on the highway it started. So, while I drove in snow today, I don't have to shovel anymore off my driveway. Not that I was doing that anyways, I have a big van now, I just "barrel" through."
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Lenten Lunch
I'm just about to leave the office for a ministerial event. Our church is organizing this weeks Lenten Lunch. As a ministerial we host a lunch every Wednesday of the Lenten season and a different church organizes the food and the service portion.
I was given the character of Caiaphas to look at. Caiaphas was the high priest during the mock trial of Christ. I finished my mini-sermon and even preached it to our empty sanctuary this morning. I suppose that unless you are a pastor or teacher you will not understand this, but I'm not totally pleased with it. I like it on paper, however, it doesn't want to come out right. (Gee, could I be more vague...) I heard once that a sermon is never really finished, and well, I guess that's what I feel today. I feel like while I know the passage, I know what I want to say about it and where I want to direct our thoughts, it feels like my thoughts are not as clear as they should be.
Dear God,
Make my words your words. If I utter anything not of you, cause it to be forgotten. May those words that are only mine fall like stones to the floor, not even landing on the ears of those with me. However, if there are words that I speak that are of you, make them pierce through the defenses that even I have built up. Make us aware of your presence and allow us to see you; even through my words. I love you, thanks in advance for going before me. Amen.
All I know is that God had better show up. He always does though, so I suppose I'm not too worried. I like it when our community of faith has these kinds of events where we all can come together and be together despite our theological differences.
I hope that God finds you today. Let him in when shows up. I know it's hard, but it's good.
edit: Things went pretty well, I think what I wanted to say came across, and everyone got something to eat.
I was given the character of Caiaphas to look at. Caiaphas was the high priest during the mock trial of Christ. I finished my mini-sermon and even preached it to our empty sanctuary this morning. I suppose that unless you are a pastor or teacher you will not understand this, but I'm not totally pleased with it. I like it on paper, however, it doesn't want to come out right. (Gee, could I be more vague...) I heard once that a sermon is never really finished, and well, I guess that's what I feel today. I feel like while I know the passage, I know what I want to say about it and where I want to direct our thoughts, it feels like my thoughts are not as clear as they should be.
Dear God,
Make my words your words. If I utter anything not of you, cause it to be forgotten. May those words that are only mine fall like stones to the floor, not even landing on the ears of those with me. However, if there are words that I speak that are of you, make them pierce through the defenses that even I have built up. Make us aware of your presence and allow us to see you; even through my words. I love you, thanks in advance for going before me. Amen.
All I know is that God had better show up. He always does though, so I suppose I'm not too worried. I like it when our community of faith has these kinds of events where we all can come together and be together despite our theological differences.
I hope that God finds you today. Let him in when shows up. I know it's hard, but it's good.
edit: Things went pretty well, I think what I wanted to say came across, and everyone got something to eat.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
The march to the cross...
So what is today? The day after Ash Wednesday. In the back of my mind I have been meaning to get to the point where I process the fact that we are now on the march to Easter. Now thirty nine days until we celebrate the cross. How can I prepare for that?
Often, I feel totally unprepared for forgiveness. Tonight, I've been watching a program on CBC entitled "Embracing Bob's killer". It's about a woman who's husband was killed when he tried to break up a party at the end of his street. The man who killed Bob was eventually sentenced with a man-slaughter conviction. Long story short (as I type this the program is not even over), the wife forgives the killer, and even introduces her children to him. She has created a new life for herself and including public speaking and books about forgiveness. They are showing footage of the two of them doing speaking engagements together.
I can't begin to imagine what that is like. I can't process what I would do if I was the one who lost my Tara to another person's action, would I forgive them? Would I be able to make that person apart of my life?
One of the comments the narrator of this program is: "...it is a complicated thing, this simple act of forgiveness..." I have to think about that. Is simply forgiving someone complicated? Is it easier to forgive and move on then not?
I'm not really sure. I need to think this one through a little more...
The questions I'm asking myself now are going something like this:
Who have I forgiven?
Is there someone I need to forgive?
Who has forgiven me?
Who have I hurt?
Do I think of salvation in the same way as I might think of personal forgiveness?
One of the other bits I found very interesting in the program was the question posed to the guy who had killed this man and done his sentence: "Have you forgiven yourself yet?" The answer was no.
Forgiveness, what a think to talk about. I mean we do talk about it in church, all the time we talk about it; but do we take it as personal as this? I'm not always so sure. I sometimes think we like to leave things at a comfortable distance.
We like to think and talk of forgiveness of ourselves and "others" (no names attached), but we don't like to put specifics to it. We don't like to think that serial killers and rapists could be forgiven, and if we did think they could be forgiven, we certainly wouldn't want to put our children in the same room as they are and encourage a relationship with them. Now, the program I referred to there was, as you might expect, limits to the relationship between the widow (now remarried) and the killer.
How do we think of forgiveness? Would we let someone into our homes who needed to be forgiven by us? Someone who had hurt us and our family, would we open our hearts and our homes and our children to them, to their influence?
I'm not sure I can say that I would be able to throw open my life to the killer of a loved one (for the record; no one in my life or that I know about has been killed), I'm fairly sure that I could forgive them and begin to pick up the pieces of my life and do something that resembled "moving on". But inviting that person into my life? Bringing them into my family like God did us? Bringing them into the fabric and core of my life?
As I write this, it dawns on me that is exactly what God did, he forgave the people who murdered his son and welcomed them into his family.
The thought that comes to mind is: "whoa".
And so we march towards the cross.
Often, I feel totally unprepared for forgiveness. Tonight, I've been watching a program on CBC entitled "Embracing Bob's killer". It's about a woman who's husband was killed when he tried to break up a party at the end of his street. The man who killed Bob was eventually sentenced with a man-slaughter conviction. Long story short (as I type this the program is not even over), the wife forgives the killer, and even introduces her children to him. She has created a new life for herself and including public speaking and books about forgiveness. They are showing footage of the two of them doing speaking engagements together.
I can't begin to imagine what that is like. I can't process what I would do if I was the one who lost my Tara to another person's action, would I forgive them? Would I be able to make that person apart of my life?
One of the comments the narrator of this program is: "...it is a complicated thing, this simple act of forgiveness..." I have to think about that. Is simply forgiving someone complicated? Is it easier to forgive and move on then not?
I'm not really sure. I need to think this one through a little more...
The questions I'm asking myself now are going something like this:
Who have I forgiven?
Is there someone I need to forgive?
Who has forgiven me?
Who have I hurt?
Do I think of salvation in the same way as I might think of personal forgiveness?
One of the other bits I found very interesting in the program was the question posed to the guy who had killed this man and done his sentence: "Have you forgiven yourself yet?" The answer was no.
Forgiveness, what a think to talk about. I mean we do talk about it in church, all the time we talk about it; but do we take it as personal as this? I'm not always so sure. I sometimes think we like to leave things at a comfortable distance.
We like to think and talk of forgiveness of ourselves and "others" (no names attached), but we don't like to put specifics to it. We don't like to think that serial killers and rapists could be forgiven, and if we did think they could be forgiven, we certainly wouldn't want to put our children in the same room as they are and encourage a relationship with them. Now, the program I referred to there was, as you might expect, limits to the relationship between the widow (now remarried) and the killer.
How do we think of forgiveness? Would we let someone into our homes who needed to be forgiven by us? Someone who had hurt us and our family, would we open our hearts and our homes and our children to them, to their influence?
I'm not sure I can say that I would be able to throw open my life to the killer of a loved one (for the record; no one in my life or that I know about has been killed), I'm fairly sure that I could forgive them and begin to pick up the pieces of my life and do something that resembled "moving on". But inviting that person into my life? Bringing them into my family like God did us? Bringing them into the fabric and core of my life?
As I write this, it dawns on me that is exactly what God did, he forgave the people who murdered his son and welcomed them into his family.
The thought that comes to mind is: "whoa".
And so we march towards the cross.
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