today

So, I should have something to say in this space. But I'm struggling. I'll start and see where we end up?

Have you ever seen, or read, or heard, or thought of some really rather inspiring stuff and rather than 'doing' something you just think. Then in your thinking you go around in circles and then you just throw your hands up in the air and say, "well, I guess I wasn't that inspired to do something, just think it" - even though the inspiring stuff was awesome...

Did that make sense?

Ever feel overwhelmed? Ever feel like you have to do something, but not sure what, or how, or with whom? Ever feel like the stuff you write, the stuff you create, well, it is at best mediocre, and at worst, well, dung? Ya, me too.

Then I remember that most of relationship is just showing up. Even if you show up and your socks don't match and there's coffee on your shirt and you dragged mud in on the carpet.

So here's a prayer I'm writing out for those of us who sometimes feel like that...

Uh, God?

It's me again. I know I'm not doing all I should. I know I sometimes do stuff I shouldn't.

I'm trying, kinda, I mean I am, but I get overwhelmed with stuff. And I try to get by on the bare minimum. I know that's lazy, and I know better, it's true.

Thanks for loving me anyways. Thanks for not giving me what I deserve and thanks for giving me so much already and then some of what I don't deserve. I believe in you. I believe that you care for me. That you want me. I come and I bring such as I have, use it. Work through me or in spite of me. You've done so much, I will keep trying to show you how much that truly means to me, more than my words too.

I'm making this up as I go, so you'll need to help. I've learned a few things, thanks for that by the way, so I'll start there and see what happens okay? Have I told you lately that you are awesome? Ya.

Love ya, Amen.

it can be a long way up...

Philippians 3:12-14 (New Living Translation)

Pressing toward the Goal

¹² I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. ¹³ No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴ I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Taken from Bible Gateway HERE.

beauty in the background

So as my wife has noted, illness has descended on our home. Kids are sick, Tara is beginning to feel "rough" and as for me? I think I'm close, but if I'm careful I might be able to sidestep most of it...

I was up relatively early with Olivia, around 6:30 or so. As I looked out the dining room window, the sun was just starting to paint all the undersides of the thin clouds that more vibrant sunrise pink. It was really pretty. I didn't snap a picture so you actually have to use your imagination here. As I was looking at it all part of me wanted to move the houses and the power lines and the other "clutter" that was getting in the way of the pretty scene in front of me.

Then it occurred to me, "beauty in the background". Even with sick kids, today is a new day. Despite the clutter in front of us, there is beauty in the background. It forms a sense of hope for me. That even with all the stuff in front of us, you can still see beauty. It still causes me to wonder at how a little pink on the bottom of clouds (pink of all colors!) can evoke these thoughts. How when another morning begins, if we watch for it, something beautiful will be there, in the background. You could easily miss it. I almost did. I almost didn't open the blinds, almost didn't stop to see what the morning looked like.

I found this verse and thought I'd share it. Hope that even with sickness and clutter, you see the beauty of today.

Proverbs 4:18 (New Living Translation)

¹⁸ The way of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,
which shines ever brighter until the full light of day.

New Living Translation (NLT)

Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers.

what I like in photos...

(Note: this was on my photoblog, but I felt I needed to cross post it here too)

So Strobist had a post on colour palette in photos, specifically how do I use colour in my photos. I got thinking about how I tend to shoot and process my pictures. It got me thinking about my photos.

I think my I have tendency to have more saturated colours and in doing so I think many of my pictures lean to be a little underexposed. I often underexpose pictures to pull as much colour out and keep the contrast as high as I can. The lens I use the most is my 55-200VR lens.

I think this is one of the reasons I have a real hard time with shooting black and white. I don't naturally see things that way. I also seem to gravitate towards real tight crops when shooting people at events. I have come home from family or church events and realized that the only photos I really have are of individuals and not of the group function.

I think some of this reflects at least a part of who I am. The stronger colours reflect my optimistic leanings. I use photography more as an escape from my everyday life more than I do a vehicle to make statements. I use photography as a vehicle to help me pray, to see the good things in the world when I'm overwhelmed, and perhaps most importantly, give perspective the things in life I need to be thankful for.

I am drawn to photos that have a very strong and simple composition too. That center on one moment or one thing. Usually for me, it's something that is tied to a simple joy of something, or relationship, or just fun!

So what? What do I do with all of this? Do I try and go the other way and learn to be as rounded and balanced as possible? Or do I simply accept it and run with it as part of my style? Well, to start, I want to make sure that I really start working on exposure. I need to learn how to draw the colour I want out of photos without making them underexposed. I need to learn how to shoot with more than just that one lens, even if it's just to save that lens from wearing out while the others look brand-new (actually if you look at that lens you'll see it is worse for the wear, even though it is the lens I've had the longest). I also need to shoot events with an eye towards the larger event and not just the individuals within the event.

How do you use colour? How are you seeing the world? Does it come out in your photos? Do you even care? What are you looking to take pictures of?

Here's a few of my photos for fun.

1. morning dew, 2. trees v2, 3. tenacity, 4. a drive in the rain, 5. sunny, 6. raw tomato sauce, 7. finding the wind, 8. seagull 3 of 4, 9. gulp, 10. Purple on blurry green, 11. shrooms in the dark, 12. swings, 13. sucking pollen, 14. 20090805_4716-_DSC8288, 15. untitled, 16. untitled, 17. untitled, 18. grass shoots, 19. coke on the beach, 20. kiwi strobist, 21. glow, 22. sunset bumped up a bit, 23. can you find me?, 24. ladybug picnic

words

I dug out the old magnetic words from a box today and put them on the fridge. Thought maybe the kids might like to play with them. I know I do. We got these when we were first married if memory serves...

Words can be fun.

faith vs disbelief

Do I trust you?

I say I do

I say, I declare, I preach...

that the gift you already gave me was enough

That what you did to save me was enough forever

I even tell others that the one gift is enough

That I don't really need you to do any thing else

But do I really believe that?

If this happens will I hold it against you?

Will I trust you while I wait or will I worry?

I think I believe you

I do believe you

But I'm scared

So many things could go wrong

So many things could be so much easier if...

If something happened

I don't know what

I don't even know what to ask really ,

I don't know how to ask for nothing but everything at the same time

I trust you, I do, but I'm scared

I trust you, I do, but I'm worried

I trust you, I do, but I'm stressed

I trust you, I do, but I'm nervous

I trust you, I do, but I'm lazy

I trust you, I do.

You remind me that you have come through before

You remind me that you think of me

You remind me that you love me

You remind me that you've given me so much more than I deserve

Your way of teaching me is so different then what I would do

Your way of looking after me is so different then what I would do

Your ways are some much better than what I would do

All of these things I know in my head

But my fears sometimes get my head all mixed up

So even though you've already done so much,

I come again and ask for your help.