dark thoughts on a bright day

Yesterday was a beautiful day outside (today too for that matter).

Among other things I went to a presentation yesterday. It was on domestic violence. It shared stories from women who had been battered. By men, claiming to be Christian. It shared the story of a church who's pastor was attacked by a son-in-law. It made my heart hurt. I'm at a loss for words.

My head was spinning so many different directions that I had to go for a walk. So I did, and I prayed and listened to a worship album. I'm still at a loss for words, but I do know this, a marriage should be a safe place.

I am constantly thankful for having a woman that I can stand back to back with and regardless of what the world does, of what anyone else does, she's with me and I'm with her. I want to see her flourish, to grow, to do things that neither one of us thought possible. I have absolutely zero desire to "control" her. I trust her with everything. We disagree at times, we even argue about stuff . But always, always I have felt safe with her and she with me. Without her support I doubt I could pastor at all.

I cannot imagine what life would be like without that kind of support from my spouse. I cannot imagine what it would be like to not feel safe in the relationship that is intended to be a safe point in the craziness of life.

So I walked. I listened and sang along with some worship music (don't worry I wasn't loud enough for anyone else to hear!). God knows that some people are in awful places in life. And yes, God does want his people to do something about it. So what do we do? Well, I am truly not sure, yet. God is leading in some directions these days that are getting me to pray more and more. To seek him more and more.

I have some personal projects in mind that hopefully will help others. People outside my family, outside even my church. Will be earth shattering? Likely not. But you have to start somewhere...

And through it all I am faithful that God will care for us as well. As I walked I saw these lily pads.

Luke 12:27 (New International Version)

²⁷"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.(Taken from BibleGateway.com)