on me.

So it was pointed out to me recently that I often post very incomplete thoughts and allude to having things to say and then never say them (such as here).  So in an attempt to externalize some of the thoughts in my head, comes the following...

I want to be free.

Perhaps that sounds a little strange coming from me.  But like many, I struggle with my own abilities, wondering I can do all that I am called to do, all that I am asked to, all that I want to do.

I received an email recently that alluded to a list of things said at a graduation attributed to this one guy.  I generally check the validity of email forwards, not because I don't trust the people who send them to me, because, as a rule, the people who send me forwards have found something of value in them.  However, email forwards often become tall tales quickly.  The email looked very similar to this one that is set straight on Snopes.

The little tidbit that got me thinking the most was this quote,  (the rest is in the above link):

The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself

   The part of self esteem I struggle with is that I know that it's usually my own fear(s) that keep me back.  I'm self-aware enough to know that "there is no secret ingredient", and that almost everyone struggles with self-esteem.  Certainly some are less bothered, and others are crippled by it all.  Yet it is quite frustrating to know that your own lack of confidence, which resides entirely in your own head, is holding you back.  To know you are technically able to do something doesn't always seem to help when you feel the task is too important.

So what to do?  Well, the first thing that comes to my mind is to remind myself that I am free in Christ.  At first that sounds a little cheesy, even to me.  Yet, if I believe the Scriptures (I do), then when I feel trapped by circumstances and that I can't get done what I honestly feel should be done; I need to remember that I am free.  I am free to do what I need to.

 ¹It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. -Galatians 5:1 (NIV)

Today, I need to remember that I am free.  That I live in a world created by God, that I was created by God, and he knows who and what I am, and he is the one who called me, to be a disciple, a husband, a father, a friend, a pastor and all the other things in my life.

One of the things I hope to work on within myself is letting go of the self-doubt and simply move forward in the things I feel called to do.  We'll see how that goes.

The reason I'm including this photo, is that it was really something to see in person, and one felt a little like God's work is still good.