union

As a life, Christianity may be defined as the union of the soul with Christ" -George P. Pardington, The Crisis of the Deeper Life (pg 5)

On blogging, pictures and the thoughts in my head

So here we are. I've had this blog some time and I have found writing blog posts for it to be something very different then I had anticipated. I have found far more difficulty in finding something to say. Which, if you know me, is not like me. Generally, I can talk pretty well.

I have often used pictures to help express my headspace too, and yet often I find the process of taking pictures to be the fun part. The process of seeing. Light, texture, colour. Thoughts, pictures, words, emotions.

If you were looking for more complete thoughts... sorry. This is it for now...

Me Learning about light

As you may know, photography is one of my hobbies. I recently bought a wireless trigger for my old flash. When I bought my new camera I realized that my old flash was incompatible with it. I purchased this little wireless unit and it's opened a whole new world in photography for me.

I've been learning through Strobist, a blog based website all about off camera flash.

So here's is my foray into off camera lighting in photography, you can see all my posted pictures by clicking this link, it's the same link as you'll find in the header of this page.

edit: added embedded slideshow


Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

soundtrack to my life...

Random thought....

If there was a soundtrack to my life, most of it would be U2 and Dave Matthews Band songs.

(currently listening to Hawkmoon 269)

misunderstood... but...

Today I am feeling a little misunderstood. I'm certain it will all be sorted out in time. It stinks being misunderstood. Despite that though, today is a good day. I have at the very least one person who gets me. She is an encouragement to the very fabric of my being. She is one that is my perpetual cheerleader. I love you Tara. Thanks for being you.


(note on the photo - while this photo was taken long ago - before kids even - it is a favorite of mine)

the gauntlet...

Today, I realize (yet again) why I have dragged my feet going through ordination. (For those of you unaware - I am about 5 years late getting it done) I got some more of my marks back; marks are a scary thing for me. When I was in school I never received great marks, in high school I barely got through. I did better in college but generally I was on the low side of "average".

The scary thing about for me is that I feel like I could "measured, but be found wanting" (that's the phrase that runs through my head - me standing in the middle of a round room facing my elders seated on cushy chairs while I fidget with my fingers and bite my lip, and stand on jello legs. In my minds eye I think its a lot like the Jedi Council room thing in the Star Wars room)

Now, in my rational mind I know that's a complete paranoid and delusional idea (I mean it's not like our district has the money to build a solarium atop a tower for the ordaining council to meet and in and decide the fates of prospective ordinands. And likely as not the guys on our ordaining council couldn't pull off Jedi robes). I know the process is about affirming and helping pastors develop and become better at their task. Fear is something though is it not? Fear that you are not "good enough". Fear that others will judge you and dismiss you. Fear that your acceptance is based upon performance. Now I realize that I have a job to do and that if I disregard those responsibilities then yes, likely I will be asked to find a new career. The likelihood of that happening is relatively small.
If there is anything this process is teaching me is that I need to buck up and get better at what I do, to swallow my pride and seek the resources I need to be what God has called me to be. If I sit behind my desk and "make do" with I have I will never get to where I need to be.
I often think of myself as the "new guy", the "rookie"; and to a point I suppose I am, but I have been doing this ministry for seven (7!) years (eight if you count the year I was on staff at a bible college doing support work). This is my calling. This is my career. This is my life. Pride has no place in it. I need to learn. I need to open myself to constructive criticism.
Oh well, there's my rant/self-inspirational talk for the day.

today

My wife has been challenging me to blog more regularly so here I go (again). Today I feel cautiously optimistic. Optimistic because a new season of ministry is approaching and I am a "glass is half full kind of person". Optimistic because soon ordination will be over (my interview is in October - I'm not ready but I trust I will be). Optimistic because - I don't know why, I just am. Cautiously because I'm slightly worried over money, slightly worried over some of the programming at the church. Slightly worried about being up to all I think is coming this year.

So ya, there you have it.

For those of you who read about my boys playing with our cd player in the van on my wife's blog and were wondering about what actually happened, let me break it down for you.
I was downstairs working on a bracket type thing I designed to hold our portable DVD player securely in the van. I had removed the head rests in the van to do this (this detail is important later...). Tara was upstairs cleaning or sorting laundry or something, I wasn't there, I don't know exactly what she was doing. Anyways... I thought the boys had gone to be with her, she thought the boys were still with me, and in all truth they had gotten into the van.
Without naming any names, my oldest son had taken the jewelers screwdriver I had left in the van (I had used it to remove the headrests in the back seat remember) and had proceeded to use it to dislodge all the contacts between the faceplate and rest of our Pioneer cd/mp3 players. The contacts looked like spaghetti.

CD players are much cheaper now, but the really sad part is the stereo had been a gift from some of the college and career kids from my ministry in Stoney Creek. So, it sits on my workbench and sometime I'll try and sort it out. I have however purchased another deck. For those of you who care you can find it here.

Nipawin for lunch the q-ray experiment

Today I went to Nipawin to visit Dan Esau the new(ish) pastor of Nipawin Alliance Church. Good times. As far as I'm concerned it's good to get together with people doing the same thing as you are. Thanks Dan for a great afternoon.

As we were walking around I noticed that more than a few of the shops down the main drag in Nipawin had particle board over their windows. Turns out some guy went down the sidewalk with an axe and smashed out store windows. Even more crazy then that was that he did it at about 8:45pm, while it was still light out.

After lunch with Dan I headed to see a guy in our church who owns a jewelry store in Nipawin. His windows had been smashed out as well. It had been a long day for him and his staff. They had to come in late last night and try to clean up as best they could. THey did have help though. He told me that there were a number of people from the community who showed up to help them clean up!

As we visited we got talking about these Q-Ray bracelets. They're supposed to help your body with "stuff". All kinds of different things they're supposed to do. I had talked to Tim about these before and he says that for him they help. So he lent me one to try it out. So I'm on day one of my own trial of the Q-ray bracelet. He lent me one of his old ones for a month. I think he's pretty sure that I'll be buying one at the end of that time, but we'll see.

Tara asked me why I had a man bracelet on when I got home. Apparently I don't wear jewelry at all, ever.. so to "sneak" this one by wouldn't work.

Do I feel any different after a few hours? I'm not sure, maybe, but that could just be from the two great visits I had today, I always feel good after I've had some good talks with people. We'll see.